Tact, or lack thereof
by Twenty questions
Summary: AU Modern. In the future, Will resolved to ask for identification and a background check before letting fine eyes carry him away.
1. Of Redheaded Children

**Chapter 1: Of Redheaded Children**

These are the facts. Any attractive man on campus is either gay, taken (both) or must be in want of some form of female companionship. My university (picture any place with bricks and lawns and large classrooms to get the general idea) has an unfavorable ratio of males to females when it comes to romance. My sister is disgustingly attractive. This all means that my love life has been depressingly non existent.

Place: Watching darling sister being chatted up by a nice redhead man, whom I'm sure she is already falling hopelessly in love with and thinking about things like if she could name their daughter Scarlet, or if that would be tacky. Or if Ginny would be too nerdy. The stress sets in early for Jane.

This nice redhead man, who as I've been told excitedly too many times (and also seen his Facebook profile page too many times, as if I needed proof that such a man did exist) is named Charlie. He and Jane, aforementioned disgustingly attractive sister, met in one of her classes about genocide.

Right, because nothing spells romance like the slaughter of whole groups of people.

Anyways, my natural kind of cynicism aside, I am stuck at this fraternity party. As nice as Charlie seems, Jane needed someone to make sure no one attacked her or tried to grope her or something. She watches a lot of television. Naturally, as I am not currently being groped or puking in the corner, I've been left out of the activities everyone else is doing at the moment. Being sober can be so lonely.

A girl who might have been pretty if she wasn't so trashy (I'm talking thigh high stiletto boots and a sequined leotard trashy) stumbles up to their intimate wall leaning group (it isn't even midnight, and she is clearly very drunk. I wonder if she prefers vodka or just Listerine straight up) and latches onto Charlie's arm. Protective younger sister instincts come into play and I clench my fists ready to distract the redhead with a jello shot, and Jane clearly tenses up at this strange girl.

Making my way past the groping and puking couples, I head over to the group. The last thing Jane needs is a man slut.

"Caroline, this is Jane. Jane, this is my older sister Caroline!"  
Jane relaxes. I relax, but I've also been spotted. Briefly I wonder if I could blend in by holding that discarded vodka bottle in front of my face, but decide to be social. After all, Jane bakes me things, and she wouldn't if I didn't make a nice effort.

"Nice to meet you. Charlie, Caroline, this is my younger sister Lizzy."

Charlie actually reaches out and shakes my hand. It's a little adorable.

Caroline might have shown me more of her cleavage as way of introduction, but I'm not sure that was on purpose.

"Charlesssss," I wonder if she realizes that jello shots aren't always a good idea, "you must introduce me as Katya. I told you, that's what everyone calls me."

He sighed good naturedly before reintroducing us.

"Why the name change Katya?"

Jane is just so…perky. During the small talk I've managed to catch the eye of a girl from one of my Bio A classes. I'm pretty sure I can make an escape to normalcy, as she is clearly as sober as I am and looks bemused, which seems like good company compared to the awkwardness of Jane and Charlie's blushing fest. However she also is unsuccessfully trying to flirt with a guy who seems so emotionless I didn't realize he was alive at first.

"Oh, I've decided that I should get in touch with my Russian roots."

"Caro, we're mostly Irish."

"Shh Charlie. I don't identify with the Irish."

"How wonderful. Do you speak Russian?"  
"Da."

"Я тoже говорю пo-русски.*"

"What?"

Charlie smiled apologetically, before turning his eyes back on Jane. His eyes had a habit of doing that. Suddenly he spotted someone.

"Oh, Jane, and you too Lizzy, you both simply must meet my friend Will! He just graduated, but came here to see some of us again and I'm sure he'd love to meet you."

This was seriously the way he talked, like an old British film without the accent. As he turned and motioned for us to follow, supporting Caroline on his arm, I leaned into Jane.

"His enthusiasm reminds me a touch of Mom."

She gave me a slap on the arm for that, which was well deserved I'm sure. Although a touch mean of Jane, normally she denies the craziness that is out maternal unit.

"Oh do you like him Lizzy?"  
But my response (read: reassurance that he was not a serial killer and was interested in her, etc.) was cut short as we had apparently arrived to the other side of the room, where my friend from Bio A was rolling her eyes and moving away from the stoic faced man and towards me.

"He's duller than Chapman."

Considering how boring our professor was, this was indeed a feat. Then Charlotte went into the dance crowd that had formed and I turned back to the introductions, catching the tail end of them.

"This is Jane, we have a class together she is also a Junior, and this is her sister Lizzy. Lizzy, what year are you in?"  
"Junior."

This man I assumed was Will. I wondered briefly if he was deaf and never had the heart to tell Charlie because he was just not reacting to the words. At all. Luckily Charlie had at least managed to switch his sister onto Will's arm. Something that caused a change in emotion at the very least. Although his mood seemed to sour.

"Nice to meet you. Charlie said you graduated, what are you doing?"  
Even the statue managed to react to Jane's friendliness, albeit with the one word answer of business.

I raised an eyebrow at Jane, which he may have caught, before heading back to find Charlotte. If this frat had one thing, it was at the very least good music.

Sitting out a few songs later she was describing to me the likelihood of Will Darcy (she admitted to being a touch of a Facebook stalker) managing to pass on his genes despite his reluctance to engage in conversation.

An ingenious way to apply our current class content of population statistics I'm sure. As the song paused in that awkward space in between we heard a conversation and paying attention, were able to eavesdrop effectively.

"Will, I know you're all grown up now but have a drink and dance with a pretty girl. There are loads here!"

"You seem to be quite smitten."

"Yes, she is rather gorgeous. And smart and kind and, oh but her sister is lovely too Will, and seems so witty! Jane was telling me how smart she is, I'm sure you two could get along."  
Here Charlotte had to try very hard to stifle her giggle. I had introduced her to Jane when we arrived, and they had hit it off as well.

"I have no care for a girl who spends her time getting drunk and practically stripping while calling it dancing. I don't like your trashy sorority girls and this one isn't even attractive."

Charlie shrugged and made his way back over to Jane. Will sulked to another corner.

Then we burst out laughing and started an informal 'Who can do a fantastic impression' contest.

I started, and decided to go with the classic plastic surgery dig: "Charlotte, I may have had too much botox for facial expressions, but you are simply too hideous for me."

Her response was probably made more funny by my damaged pride: "Elizabeth, I may be the most anti social creature, but the fact that you talk to others simply disgusts me."

In between our new game and dancing, I was able to pass another hour before trying to gather Jane to walk home.

Finally, it was one in the morning and I grabbed Jane from her new paramour and we headed towards the door. Or rather I pushed her as she made googly eyes at Charlie's backside. Charlie rushed to get our coats and as we were standing awkwardly by the entrance, we also saw Will putting his coat on following Charlie out.

"It was wonderful to meet you Charlie. I mean I probably won't remember because all I did was get really drunk and practice my stripper routine, but then again, I should probably just, like oh my God, join a sorority so I can do that all the time instead of studying. See you later!"

I think my perkiness rivaled Jane's. Who gave Charlie a quick hug (and then blushing profusely) before following me out.

"What was that about Lizzy, because I like this guy and not everyone gets your humor, and oh Liz, what if you hurt his feelings?"

At which point I related my story, and she fell into a deeper chasm of worry.

"Oh I'm sure he was just kidding, like how sometimes you're sarcastic and I don't really catch it."

"Really Jane, it was funny, alright? Now you must be freezing, I don't know how you're wearing a skirt right now."

* * *

"Will she heard you, oh and she'll tell her sister, and then her sister will think that I just make horrific friends," pausing to give me pointed look, "which clearly I do. I don't know why you can't just be nice to people."

I sighed, Lizzy had been rather clear in her eavesdropping, which was an unfortunate absence of tact on her part. Not surprising from what I had observed this night.

"I'm sorry, look, if I run into her ever I'll apologize. I'm sure the sister is still madly in love with you, and if not, you'll have dumped her in a month anyways."

Which was a touch cruel, but I had to put up with his sister for a night and frats were not my thing even as an undergrad. Mostly it was having to put up with his sister, she kept trying to use a Russian accent. Last month it had been Swedish.

"Like Hell you will. Come out to dinner with us, it'll give me a good excuse to invite Jane out and I'm so nervous. I mean, have you talked with her, she is so delightful."

Delightful, really? Charlie needed to work on not sounding like a bad cliché. The easiest thing to do was just appease him.

"Fine, I've got to go. Work is still waiting for me."

"See you later Darce."

Then I exited. This would shut him up for a touch, and besides, Lizzy was kind of attractive. I guess.

Too young for me though, I was done with college. And rude impertinent women too.


	2. Information Dumps

**Chapter 2: Information Dumps**

"Does every man you meet tell you he loves you?"  
Ardita nodded.

"Why shouldn't he? All life is a profession toward, and then a recession from, one phrase- 'I love you.'"

_F. Scott Fitzgerald- The Offshore Pirate_

* * *

"Do you know that Charlie thought we were twins?"

Jane's bemused smile makes me crinkle my nose.

"Your Charlie is quite delusional."  
Which is true, to think that the tall Jane with her perfectly natural blond hair and eyes so damn blue that she gets asked if she wears color contacts a lot (she doesn't) to her womanly curves matched with a thin waist, Charlie clearly must not have been looking at me to make his guess.

Which given the aforementioned description one can't really blame him for.

"I just told him you did running start* while I was perfectly content to sit in my normal classes."

"Has he managed to set up our threesome?"

It was Jane's turn to crinkle her nose. She did not appreciate Charlie's offer to take us both out to dinner at the same time referred to as the threesome. I appreciated anything that gave Jane some annoyance.

"Yes, and don't call it that. Anyways, apparently its like a tri date, so if you can manage to get someone for this Friday, that would be fantastic. It is still early in the quarter, and you have so many guy friends."

Rolling my eyes at this unexplained bump I start to work on dinner. Tonight is my night to cook, and I've chosen something which will take minimal effort. Pasta.

"Can we pretend that I'm a lesbian and just take Charlotte? Or does Charlie run to the Republican side, in which case, can I do it anyways?"

"If you were actually a lesbian I wouldn't have a problem, but you're not, so suck it up and play nice for me. I really like him Liz."

And I really like not having to listen to this same sentence over and over again. Sadly, we don't all get what we want.

After a rather grueling day of Russian, Biological Anthropology, and Organic Chemistry, I was not happy to be met at the door of our dinky apartment by Jane, who was holding in her hands clothes.

I don't know if I've mentioned this, but its winter quarter. And by winter quarter, I mean that it is cold. Cold enough for me to think about putting the abominations that are Ugg boots on my feet to gain a little warmth. Cold enough that I have starting planning to replace our coffee table with a fire pit, screw the landlord. Neither of my roommates appreciated the idea.

Speaking of which, Mandy entered the apartment just behind me, rolling her eyes at Jane's eager expression.

"Please don't tell me you're playing human Barbie doll on your sister again, because that last time she came out looking like a whore."

"Thanks Mand."

She gives me a small smile before heading into her room, and I have to agree. While Jane uses moderate enough make up on her own face, it is apparently much harder to restrain herself and she tries to make up for the lack of make up on my face everyday by putting it all on at once. It's like binge make up artistry, I wonder if there's a support group.

Anyways, these are the facts on Mandy: She is a neurobiology and philosophy major. No joke. Jane has known her since orientation, and when I came here we got along well. She is also blunt, more so than me, and doesn't really like to say much. Or come out of her room except for class. She studies a lot, and thinks that she can play guitar. But can't.

I push past Jane, because despite her modest lovely dress, there is no way I'm going to wear anything remotely similar.

"Just look nice Lizzy!"

Which I always do.

Except for this morning when I didn't have time to brush my hair and then decided that an oversize sweater was my most fashionable choice.

And yesterday, when similar things happen.

Wednesday though, Wednesday I looked good.

By someone's standards I'm sure.

Anyways, I picked out a pair of slacks and a very pretty top, and brushed my hair to Jane's hovering delight.

"Who did you find to come by the way?"

"Danny. His boyfriend gave me permission to borrow him."

Jane nodded, this was an acceptable choice.

"Who is the other couple?"

Then Jane started to fidget. My evening went down from this point on.

"His sister and some boy she covets."

Her Biblical literature class was clearly getting to her.

"His sister, I want to sic Mandy on his sister, or drive her to AA. I can't really decide. Maybe tonight we can do both."

A knock on the door interrupting my further consideration of the evening's activities. Jane finished with a stern look before running off to let Charlie in.

"Hey."  
"Hey."

Awkward silence, which is naturally where I come in.

"Is it cool if I grab a ride? My date is taking the bus and I'd much rather hitch a ride there with you."

Charlie nodded enthusiastically. He was probably less likely to crash if there was a third party present.

The restaurant was swanky. The three of us were there first, followed closely by Danny who gave me a kiss on the cheek. He was in my O Chem class and our conversation quickly switched to that as Jane and Charlie sat there and looked star crossed.

I almost forgot that we would soon be joined by Caroline, but then we were, and as she took her seat next to me I wondered if she would get drunk tonight as well. It might be more fun.

Her date was the cherry. Mr. Darcy, his face as impassive as ever.

"Katya, how lovely to see you again, and Darcy as well."  
Jane was just so polite. I think I should recommend her new career as an etiquette specialist.

"Oh Jane, you're such a darling!"

Really Caroline, because you're such a fake! Golly.

"Darcy, Caroline, this is my date Danny."

Darcy nodded, but Caroline started to talk. It was most unfortunate, and I wondered if it would be unethical to put duct tape over her mouth as a cure.

"Oh how nice to meat you. I had no idea Elizabeth was able to get a boyfriend, let alone such a dashing young man like you. Tell me, how long have you been dating? And Elizabeth, my name is Katya, I told you."

I smirked, it was such a great opening, but then Jane cut in before I could. She knew the warning signs.

"Actually Lizzy has been taking Russian this year. I'm sure you too could have a delightful conversation in it."

Caroline paled, and I was impressed I was able to tell under all the powder she was wearing.

"I'd much rather hear about her and Danny."

Her bluff had been called, which was just as well considering that I also wanted to talk about Danny. She was also throwing these weird looks at Darcy, maybe as though to convey other people were openly in a relationship and they could be too. Or maybe she just wasn't feeling well.

"Well, Danny and I met in kindergarten and knew we were soulmates when we had the same favorite finger paint artist! It wasn't until second grade that it got really serious, and the moment I turned 18 we eloped. Its just so weird to introduce someone as your husband, I'm sure you can relate."

Danny gave me a hearty wink, "I don't think my boyfriend would quite approve of that story."

"As long as we're both allowed to take lovers, I don't mind the infidelity."

The odd thing about this conversation was that Caroline didn't pick up on the sarcasm. Or maybe that's the sad thing.

"Oh how delightful! Are you planning on having children anytime soon?"  
Unfortunately, Charlie cut in to save his sister's ass. He and Jane really do suit each other; it is almost gag reflex inducing.

"Oh Katya, you're such a kidder. So Lizzy, how are classes going?"

And then we all launched into the basic college student conversation, major, expected graduation, living situation, whatever other info dump you can imagine.

The facts are pretty much these: Jane is an English major working towards her teaching degree. Charlie is a business major who has some sort of family business to enter, his sister is the same age as Darcy (23), but appears to be taking time off to get perspective (spending lots of money because she doesn't have to work and just wants a rich husband, aka Darcy). Danny is a Chemistry major, wants to do research, but last month he wanted to be a doctor in Africa, so I'm sure it'll change a few more times, and Darcy is in some sort of business.

By the time the waiter serves our food I'm ready to leave. I wonder if I can fake a stomach ache without Jane pouncing in motherly concern in that smothering way she has. I decide to suck it up.

Caroline yawns as we finish our meal. I didn't know someone could manage to make yawning look skanky, but she succeeded. Although I have no issues with her obvious attempt to get some action, the fact that her brother was at her table made things more awkward.

"Willy," I wonder if that's what she'll call their kids, because I can totally picture Will Jr being coddled by Caroline in some ridiculous spike heels. "I'm so ready for bed. Take me home?"

My attempt to stifle my laughter turned into a slight coughing fit. I earned several glares that time around, but Danny refilled my water.

"I've actually got to get going as well, I'll see you in class tomorrow Liz. Can I walk you to the bus stop Katya?"

It was harder to contain my laughter, but clearly Danny was taking some kind of joy out of diverting Caroline's plans for the evening. Darcy gave him a relieved look.

"Oh how excellent of you Danny, my sister lives right on the bus line that runs by here. It was wonderful meeting you."

Charlie stood up and shook the man's hand, as Caroline got up in a huff. Muttering a thanks I'm sure, or maybe some curse words, my hearing really isn't anything fantastic.

Darcy also stood up and heartily shook the man's hands, "Yes, it was fantastic meeting you. Good luck with the chemistry."

Danny's face registered some surprise, I don't think either of us thought he paid much attention through the night, and then the two were gone and I burst into a small fit of giggles.

"Sorry."

Jane looked at me a little disapprovingly, but I could tell she was amused too.

I quickly excused myself for the bathroom, and by the time I had got back the table only had one person at it. This was the worse ditching of my life. Like, seriously.

"Oh, hey Darcy."

Obviously I'm an awkward person. Maybe Jane and Charlie are just making out in the bathroom and will be back really soon.

"They decided to go see a movie. I offered to give you a ride."

Which was nice, but mostly awfully suspicious.

* * *

Offered had been an understatement. I say it was more likely that I was subtly coerced, for two really nice people Jane and Charlie can pull an amazing guilt trip.

Well the girl was in the bathroom I had been told that it would give me a perfect time to apologize, and I had been so silent at dinner, didn't I enjoy the company of other humans?

"No really, I'll just take the bus."

She was rejecting me. People don't reject me, and it was cold and late and dark, I wasn't stupid. Elizabeth was a pretty girl by most standards, and I was not going to let her wander through parking lots alone.

"I insist."

She rolled her eyes but nodded. "Fine, that'll be fine."

Maybe we had gotten off on the wrong foot, Jane was a bit of a ditz, but Denny or Donny was nice enough to get Caroline off of him. If she had nice enough friends, there couldn't be too much wrong with her.

They left the restaurant in silence, and he motioned her over to his car. He could've sworn she muttered something along the lines of "A Porsche, but of course", but ignored it and got on the drivers side. Huffing a little she climbed in.

"So listen, you overheard me the other day, and I'm sorry you heard that."

That was big of me, I had carefully sidestepped avoiding saying that I regretted what I had said, because I didn't. The way she was moving on the dance floor could not have been described as classy, and a lot of people have wrong first impressions.

"Cool Darcy."  
Then she turned the radio on and some song* came on. Which ironically enough appeared to be about bad Friday nights.

"Listen Darcy, I appreciate the effort to have Charlie not rip your eyes out, but the boy isn't capable of swatting a fly, he's like another version of Jane. So if you can just drop me off at the next bus stop I promise I won't tell."

Jane had given me directions already, so I continued to drive, passing numerous bus stops.

"How the fuck do you know where I live anyways? Because if you're some kind of stalker you should just be upfront about that."

God could this girl say something seriously for just one second? I support sarcasm as much as the next guy, but she was just so infuriating.

When I finally reached their apartment building he got out of the car but she had already opened her own door.

"Well Darcy, we don't get along or anything, but I've got to hand it to you on being chivalrous."

"Thanks."

"Where were you born, the royal palace?"

I grimaced. "Texas actually, but we traveled a lot, so I don't really have an accent."

"How interesting, what's your favorite color?"  
"Green."

Her eyes were green.

"Any siblings?"  
"A sister. Listen, do these questions have a point?"

"I'm just trying to make this elevator ride a touch less awkward."

She had taken off her coat, holding it between her knees and searching through her bag for keys. She was the first woman who had stood up to me in a long time, and she looked so good just then. Lizzy was still a tactless twit, but at least she was an amusing one. It really wasn't my fault that I pressed her up against the elevator wall. And then she looked up startled before bringing my head to hers and we were making out.

By the time the elevator doors opened her coat and keys had fallen to the floor and her cheeks were adorably flushed. She quickly grabbed them and headed out the doors. I followed.

"Right, well I'm sure we'll run into each other sometime if Jane and Charlie keep this up. Thanks for the ride."

And then she had disappeared inside her apartment.

* * *

AN: So in PP they don't have a dinner party like this, but I wanted at least a bit of dating in the way before Jane (and consequently Elizabeth) get stuck at Netherfield. I told you this wasn't sticking to the plot precisely, and so Darcy and Elizabeth will be on a similar arc but much more modernized.

SBDGirl88: Both relevant questions that I hope I answered.

GilbertDrone328: Facebook stalking is a very realistic aspect of college life, and all my time on it is just research for this story clearly…Also, I apologize for accidently copying your title which I realized when I clicked on your profile.

Lucy65: Thanks.

*Running start is a program in Washington State (where in this story, both girls are from), where as a high school kid you are also enrolled in Community College. Some people get their Associate of Arts while in High School, resulting in Junior standing on entering college.

*Mouthwash by Kate Nash. Listen to it.


	3. How to Get in a Car Accident

AN: This chapter goes Darcy, Elizabeth back in time two weeks, and then Darcy present day again. I mixed up the formula and just wanted to give fair warning. Also, if any of you can write in another language that isn't Russian, English, or Spanish, and could message me that'd be fantastic.

Also, this chapter deals with sex, nothing graphic, but I thought I should warn.

* * *

**Chapter 3: How to Get in a Car Accident**

**Dorothy**: Weren't you frightened?  
**Wizard of Oz**: Frightened? Child, you're talking to a man who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe... I was petrified.

_Wizard of Oz_

"Can we please not listen to Justin Timberlake? I shouldn't even have to know who Justin Timberlake is."  
"Okay, I'll admit that since 'NYSNC he has gone downhill, but there is some really good stuff still."

"Bingley, does Jane know about this?"

"Well, I mean, we just, haven't gotten to that point in the relationship."

I switch the radio station while he is distracted, Jane is always good for letting his mind wander. It makes me wish I was driving. Considering that we're going down the highway at 55 mph and all. You know; little things like that. Sick Puppies comes on and that at least is better than crashing the car to the sounds of Timberlake.

"Really, because you two were pretty cozy spending an entire weekend together not so long ago. I mean, you've been dating for what, a month and a half now? I think she deserves to know."  
"We spent that weekend with you, my sisters, and her sister. There was a really epic snowstorm. It wasn't a romantic getaway. Anyways, I do kind of love her."

Of course he does. Just like the last twelve blonds.

"But you know, she really likes me to, and her sister seems to approve. I still can't get over how young her sister is though."

"You're also a Junior Charlie, I'm sure seven months doesn't make that much of a deal."

"Dude, Lizzy is like a genius or some shit. She's only 19 and is only here because of a scholarship."  
"What!"

I'm pretty sure that was a loud screech as our car veered suddenly into the next lane. Charlie was not anticipating my scream of suprise at this news. Thankfully there wasn't a car there.

"Yea, are you okay?"

I nod.

"Anyways, she is modest about it because it apparently makes most people uncomfortable and Jane went into this babble of self esteem or such, but she looked so cute that I didn't catch most of it."  
Oh my God. I'm practically a pedophile. Or a cradle robber.

"I'm a cradle robber. I thought she was twenty one."  
This time we veer into another several lanes and get off an exit where Charlie stops the car.

"You're sleeping with my girlfriend's sister? I thought you hated each other."

I forgot that it was all secret. My bad.

* * *

Texting is kind of amazing. I may be a little addicted.

Jane's new message was that she was sick, but I responded with promises of chicken soup.

It was snowing. That's the thing about Portland, we don't often get snow, and people kind of freak out when we do. The airport stranded people kept popping up on my online news sites. It was only an inch now but it was supposed to come down hard tonight, Jane better get home soon.

Jane's next message was that she was just going to stay at Charlie's, and could I please bring my car to come get her because metro was down and she wasn't up for walking.

Being the excellent sister that I am, I agreed. After all, it wasn't too bad yet. And would let me be distracted for a bit. There was nothing to do tonight despite it being a Friday.

Although it was just a few flakes, by the time I got to Charlie's it was a virtual storm. And as I rushed into the house under assault from the snow I had never been happier to see a door. The porch wasn't covered, and though I had put on my giant vintage boots my hair was uncovered and it was cold. But still, the door looked so promising.

Until Darcy opened it. That man has a penchant for awkwardness, choosing to stare at me in surprise.

At least it was an emotion. I pushed my way past him and into the living where Charlie was sitting with Caroline and a plump and trashier version of Caroline.

"Hey Charlie, I'm just here to pick up Jane. How are you?"  
"Oh no! You can't drive in this weather, we've been watching the news. Jane has been making herself sick with worry that you were even on the roads, you're staying here."

He was such a gentleman. His sisters appeared displeased but knew better than to interfere.

Sitting back on a couch I exhaled. And then paused.

This was a nice couch, not IKEA like mine. And this, this was a nice spacious room. And this was not a place any college kid should have been in. This was a little Mansion. I knew Charlie was better off, but damn, he had a good interior decorator.

"Do you mind if I see Jane then, I'm worried. She rarely gets sick and she has always been more delicate than me."

Charlie guided me away, and I stayed with Jane till my stomach started to rumble. She was feverish, but insisted that I go down to dinner.

It really is a shame that we don't live in the regency period, then I could have been announced and Caroline would have shut up before. As it was, she was ranting about my appearance.

"Can you believe that she drove her in that dump because her sister has a cold?"  
"I thought it was sweet," well at least Charlie is kind. Caroline picked up where her sister had stopped.

"And her coat, her hair was completely covered in snowflakes and she was wearing those gigantic snow boots. I mean, really?"  
As I stepped into the room I wondered how'd she feel about my rainbow socks in comparison to the retro snow boots. Probably not favorably.

Dinner was an awkward affair, Darcy kept staring at me and I kept wanting to say that we may have made out in an elevator but could he please realize it was like, three weeks ago.

I kept my mouth shut, but really felt like we were having a Rilo Kiley* moment.

After that meal we all retired to the living room where I picked up a book that had been lying on the shelves. In a moment I was absorbed in Phillip Roth and managed to space out the crowd.

"Willy," okay, I smiled a little at that. Caroline's determination of a wedding would always amuse me. If I were Will, I'd watch his drink. "Who are you writing an e-mail to?"  
"George."

"Oh, do tell her I say hi. Your sister is such an admirable girl, please ask her what all the London ladies are wearing. Though with her fashion taste I'm still sure she outshines them."

"You already told me."

I decided to intervene. It was my humanitarian impulse.

"Your sister is in London?"  
Here he glared at me. Seriously.

"Yes."

"She is studying abroad, such an intelligent young thing, only sixteen!"

Darcy glared some more. I wish I could make a collage, called 'The Angry Stares of Will Darcy'. It'd so get in an art gallery, because he is angry or emotionless, but the boy is really attractive.

"Elizabeth, come walk around the room with me, there is no means to go to the gym in this weather."

Sadly I put down my book, this was her home I was being allowed to stay in after all.

We literally just walked around the room. Cool.

"Willy, won't you join me?"  
"I suspect that you're either gossiping or showing off your figures. I'd ruin both."

Caroline frowned.

"How terribly rude, I must punish you."

Caroline actually would probably make a pretty legit dominatrix.

"Elizabeth, what shall we do?"

"Ignoring him will surely be the best punishment."

"Oh no! We must tease him so."

"Dude, we're not in the fourth grade."

Which was harsh, but I sat down and picked up Roth again. I'd prefer his company to Caroline's any day.

"You know Lizzy, we have a library. You should go take a look."  
"Thanks Charlie, I think I'll do that before turning in."

And so I did. I heard loudly behind me that Caroline was heading to bed if _anyone_ wanted to know where she would be. Judging by the amount of footsteps that went by the library (a lovely room), I'd say everyone else followed suit.

Then the door opened, and my night got considerably more interesting.

"Why hello Darcy? Sure you want to be alone again, you might spend all tomorrow perfecting an even more intense glare."

"Listen, I just wanted a book, and if I had stayed Caroline was starting to hint that she could recite the list of why she'd be the perfect housewife*. I'm sorry, accomplished woman."

I snorted. Which was a touch embarrassing, but Darcy hadn't been impressed by much, so that was alright.

"So listen, we made out in an elevator."

"I know, I was there."

He was not impressed by this response.

"I just didn't want you to get any ideas, I'm not interested in a relationship right now. I have a lot of duties."

And then he was reaching for a book and looking really really good and I may kissed him.

You know, I don't really want a relationship right now but I still want to enjoy things.

"Listen, I don't want one either, but you're such an ass that I can't stand it."

He was more than willing, a bit suprised, but very willing. And though in between kissing and taking off clothes we'd say stuff like "arrogant prick" and "tactless floozy" and all that fun stuff, it really only made it hotter.

I'd never had sex with someone where there was so much sexual tension, and the fact that we didn't like it each other made it kind of exciting. His lips were on my collarbone and I pulled off his sweater before pushing him onto the couch. He flipped us over and locked the door.

"We have to be quiet, the walls aren't thick."

After the deed I lay there for a few minutes. I didn't do casual sex too often, but we had used protection (the fact that he had a condom in his wallet made me hate him a little, but I was, um, caught up), and Darcy was pretty much physical perfection.

"Just so we're on the same page about this,"

And the fact that even as I was putting my shirt back on he had doubts was really frusterating. I wasn't the type of the girl who thought sex was the way to get emotional needs filled, if I had wanted a relationship I'd choose someone who I got along with. I decided to finish the sentence for him.

"We really don't like each other, but as long as your STD free I see no reason to stop this."

He gave the closest to a smile I had seen and then my pants were back on and I had slipped up to the guest room where I was staying.

I honestly had a few mixed feelings, but as long as we were both clear I didn't see a problem. After all I'm single and young, and that was a lot of fun.

Being snowed in proved to be a lot more fun when you were having sex in any room with a lock. I alterenated my time between lying in bed with the sickly Jane, having conversations with Caroline and Lousia (They honestly were very gullible, I was able to convince them that apples caused wrinkles, and by applying vodka to your face it would remain young forever.), and having arguements with Will about whatever (politic issues, the school system, the paint color of the room...) followed by good sex. By Sunday afternoon though Jane had gotten much better and most of the roads were clear so we headed back.

Will and I exchanged numbers, I was apparently going through a bit of a craze, and we had decided that as this arrangement was satisfying both of our needs there was no reason not to continue.

I opted not to tell Jane, she was much more conservative than I. We finally made it back to our apartment and found Mandy having been bored stiff.

* * *

"William Fitzgerald Darcy if you don't answer the question I will tell Caroline that you're planning on proposing on Valentine's Day."

"Okay, we're sleeping together. But its just sex, and I thought she was older, and shit Charlie. I'm a bad person."

Charlie agreed, although for different reasons.

"My girlfriend's sister? I mean, I love Jane, and I wanted you to get along with each other. Not sleep with each other."

"It's a secret okay, Lizzy wants to keep this quiet, Jane is a lot less liberal and doesn't exactly condone her sisters life style."

Charlie banged his head against the steering wheel.

"I mean, Lizzy doesn't even drink I don't know how you convinced her."

"It wasn't my idea!"

Charlie just gave me a look.

"Listen, you can't tell Jane."

"I can't keep this from her."

Cringing, I dialed Lizzy's number.

"She's on your speed dial? You're besotted!"

"Am not. Hey Lizzy, Charlie figured it out. Just a heads up, give me a call if you aren't too angry."

"Seriously, that's your message?"

I glared at him and wondered if this would end some really enjoyable evenings.

* * *

**A/N: Right, I doubt all of you will be happy that they're sleeping together. In my mind though Will and Lizzy have always been very attracted to each other, and Lizzy is ambitious and goes after what she wants.**

*Portions for Foxes. Listen to it.

*Nothing against them, but I always imagine that by housewife Caroline really means that she would be able to spend a lot of money and hire a few good maids.

karmencorn: Thanks, I thought I fixed those but I guess not.

Lucy65: Thanks.

GilbertDrone328: I'm having trouble with trying to fit in all of the characters in my adaption, because I just don't feel like they'd bring they're Mom to college. So hopefully everyone being awkwardly themselves will continue to work


	4. An Interlude

**Chapter 4: An Interlude**

Jane held hands with Charlie as they walked away from their class, he was even holding her notebook. She was very happy.

"Listen Janey, what are you doing over this coming break? The quarter is going to be over in a month and we've got a whole week of vacation."  
"Oh, I've got to get back. My mother misses me a lot."

"Will Lizzy be heading back as well?"  
Jane looked at him a little suspiciously. He had been awfully interested in her sister lately, and she was never a very secure person.

"Yes, she doesn't get along so well with Mum, but our two youngest sisters having been driving Pa mad, and I'm afraid Lizzy is quite his favorite."

He kissed her noise, "I don't see how that can be."

She smiled, the worry eased away. Everything about Charlie was so attentive, and she was falling faster than ever before.

"What are you going to do?"  
"Well, I have a vacation home on Lake Washington, is that near where you'll be?"

"Oh really Charlie! I only live in Bellevue. How fantastic."

They walked in silence a little while longer before entering a coffee house.

"So listen, I've been keeping something from you and I just want to be open."

Jane inhaled sharply, and her eyes started to get a little watery. She couldn't imagine what this secret must be, only that for Charlie to keep it it must be horrible.

"Will, has been seeing your sister."

Jane broke into laughter, he was such a joker! One of her favorite things about Charlie was his sense of humor.

"Not even I'm that gullible. As her sister and roommate, I think I'd know."

"No really Jane, its been going on since the snow storm. They're keeping it under wraps but Will let it slip, and I just wanted you to know."  
"But I thought they didn't get along."

"Apparently its mostly physical."

There was an awkward pause.

And then Jane's cellphone was out.

"I'll call you later Charlie, thanks for telling me, but I've got to go. See you tomorrow."

He gave her a quick peck before heading out the door himself.

"Elizabeth what on Earth have you been doing?"


	5. Hey, you single?

**Chapter 4: Hey, you single?**

"Got no need for the fancy things"

_Santogold, Creator_

I entered the building with pure joy of being let out of my apartment. Jane had had many questions and a little bit of yelling and some tears. It had not been a good couple of hours.

Walking up to the receptionist desk I did my best professional smile. I'm sure I looked like a lost intern, having chosen today to wear slacks and a white shirt with vest, my hair had been combed and everything.

"I'm looking for William Darcy, could you tell me where to find him?" She was ready to press a button on her phone, so I quickly interjected, "It's a bit of a surprise."

"Of course, top floor, first office on your right."

Giving her a smile I made my way to the elevator. Top floor? I had assumed he had some sort of boring sales position, but maybe he was the assistant to someone really important.

The elevator dinged, and I walked off turning to the right. This was a nice building, located in the heart of downtown and I was a little impressed. I had already starting stressing about things to do after graduation.

A friendly older woman sat at a desk in front of the office, and I figured maybe Darcy was out to lunch.

"Hi, I'm looking for Will?"

"Oh, right through there, is he expecting you?"

"No."

He most certainly was not.

As I opened the door Darcy didn't even bother to look up.

"Just leave it on the table Brenda."

"Holy shit, you aren't a secretary!"

Okay, maybe I could have been a touch more eloquent. But still, Darcy was at the desk. And he was top floor important, and I had not really thought that he would have not elaborated on 'business' because he was modest.

"You're fucking 19?"

"You told Charlie!"  
"By accident! 19, really?"

"Charlie, really? Do you have any idea that I spent the last five hours trying to get Jane off my back, and then she told Mandy, who told Charlotte, and I've been having to deal with more advice than I ever wanted."

"Sorry that your friends know."

Clearly that was sarcasm. I hoped his walls weren't thin, I didn't think that this was CEO behavior.

Giving him a glare I sat down in the rather plush armchair in front of his desk.

"How the hell do people not fall asleep in this when doing business with you?"  
He rolled his eyes at that, "Did you really think I was a secretary?"

"Well, you're just so arrogant and pretentious that I figured you were embarrassed by your job to not talk about it, and then you work on the top floor. It was a natural conclusion."

"Right, do you realize that it is creepy for me to date you."

Pause.

"We're not dating. We're sleeping together, and we're like, one demographic apart. I don't like to bring up the whole I'm skipping two years of college thing."  
"Well I don't like to bring up that I'm a CEO."

"And we're four years apart and both consensual adults. The bigger deal is that you told Charlie. Its pretty damn obvious that he is dating Jane, the kid didn't last twenty four hours."

"So you did get my message then?"  
I scrunched my nose, which probably wasn't in favor of my mature for my age argument.

"Listen, I gave you my number for booty calls, not that so we could play torn lovers. And what has been so great, is that we just have sex. I didn't want to date someone, we both just wanted our needs met, and now I have to promise that our sexual relationship won't ruin Jane and Charlie, etcetera, etcetera, so unless you cut this passive aggressive crap we should stop."

"Passive aggressive? I slipped when he told me you were 19. Our arrangement is perfectly fine for me."

"Clearly it isn't. I came here so we could either dissolve this or lay ground rules."

"Number 1 then, I want to see your driver's license. Who knows what else you're hiding."

Paranoid much? But I pulled out my wallet and handed it to him, maybe if he knew how much I weighed I could guilt trip him easier.

"Your middle name is Eowyn?"

"My name Dad has a thing for Lord of the Rings. Rule 2, is that as soon as you find another girl to sleep with you break things off with me first. The last thing I want is Jane thinking that you cheated on me, and I also don't want to catch anything. Golden?"

"Golden."

He handed my license back.

"Rule 3, you don't talk about this with Jane. Or Charlie, surely you have more than one friend. I need to know that my sexual life is separate from my family life."

"Fine. Rule 4."

I tapped my foot, "Do you have a rule 4 or can I leave?"

"Meet me tonight, usual time and place?"  
I nodded and left. After all, Will was kind of hot when he was angry.

By the time I had finished exams Jane and I were in a car heading back to Bellevue, along with Mandy whose parents were on a cruise and didn't want to be alone.

"Really Lizzy?"  
"It's been over a month. Can we move on, just me you, and the neurotic twosome all this week."

Mandy piped in, "Are you talking about your parents or baby sisters?"

"It's applicable to both pairs."

Jane interjected, "Colin will be there too."

"Who is Colin?"  
"My future husband. At age 15 he proposed to me. I've rejected him once a year every year, and he thinks I'm playing hard to get."

I sighed, Colin was actually my cousin, disturbingly enough. And dealing with him during spring break desperately made me wish I was the type of girl who liked to take my clothes off and get really drunk in public so I could just go to Cancun.

"So how old are your sisters again?"

"Kitty is seventeen, and Lydia is fifteen. They both act like a Disney channel show that mixes with pornography. I'm sure you'll here all about the latest drama when we get there."

"Lizzy! My family is a touch eccentric Mandy, we'll be fine."

"Hey Mandy, you aren't seeing anyone are you? Because I have this cousin, and he is totally available."

Mandy chuckled, "Not a chance Liz."

When we finally pulled into the parking garage and heading up to the apartment I was tired. They had made me drive the entire way.

Kitty and Lydia were fawning over the Myspaces of guys in uniform. I really hoped it was ROTC and not people that were actually old enough to enlist.

Colin was sitting next to them, and I gave a glare, "Hello Mr. Davis."

"My dearest Elizabeth, my last is Dalmnat. How are your studies progressing? I am so glad that you have decided to get an education before our wedding, although of course, I do not expect you to work."

I moved past this as Jane started with the pleasantries. Mom was next, but one look at me, or rather, my left hand ring finger, and she rushed past to Jane.

I heard her squeals and made my way all the way to the back of this place where Dad sat in the study. He looked up and smiled as I came in, and we had a nice quiet conversation before we were hollered back into the kitchen. Poor Mandy looked a little terrified, I don't blame her.

"So Jane, what are your plans for tonight, going to see any of those nice boys from high school? I hear that John is doing quite well."  
"Actually, my boyfriend is in town, and Lizzy, Mandy, and I already have plans with them."

Jane was an idiot. A sweet, beautiful, naïve, idiot. The word boyfriend set my mother off. She was like an attack dog.

"Oh you must invite them here for dinner tomorrow! I must meet this man, and maybe he'll have a friend for Lydia or Kitty. They're getting to that place."

"Ma, they're 15."

"I'm 17, and in the room, thanks."

Oh Kitty, she might as well have been 15, I didn't feel bad. Wait, Charlie was here?  
"I'll see if he wants to come, can he bring his friend?"

Friend. Charlie appears to have only one friend (which upon reflection, is kind of weird).

"Anyways, we'll be back early, but we're running late."  
Which was smooth of Jane considering we had been home only two hours.

"Darcy is in town Jane?"  
I naturally waited till we were back in the car to say that.

"I didn't realize we were sharing."  
"Are you still angry about that? Listen, it wasn't a big deal, and it's honestly my business, and I don't think you have the right to interfere."

"Okay you two, let's just have a nice time tonight. I brought some pieces on human rights law to read while you both make out, I think that it'll go great."

I had to laugh at that.

* * *

Charlie and I had reached a peace agreement and were currently relaxing in his vacation home. Which was nice. And then his girlfriend arrived. They were even Facebook official at this point, I much preferred my no PDA relationship, I mean agreement, with Elizabeth. Who I was growing surprisingly fond of.

"Jane! How was your trip?"

"Great. I wish you could have come with us, I missed you."

They gave each other a sickening smile, I checked Lizzy out. Those jeans were very flattering.

"Hey, would you mind coming to dinner tomorrow night? My parents want to meet you, and well, I'd really like it. I mean, you have to promise to not listen to what my mom says beforehand, but they'll love you."

"Your rambling, shush."

And he actually kissed her to shut her up. If I had tried that I would have been slapped. Hard.

"Oh, and Will, you should come to! It'll help take some of the heat off of me if a nice single man is there."

Which is a weird thing to say, but of course I agree. After all, I'm curious about what spawned two such distinct girls. The next few hours were awkward, I believe that the dialogue between Lizzy and I, as well as Mandy, can be summarized as this.

"He had no consent to give away his life and to be eaten."  
"You can't use Kateb or Locke, consider Waldron."

"Honestly how can you support Harry and Ginny?"  
"At least it makes more sense that Draco and Heromine."

"Tubberware is totally amazing."

"Why would you want leftovers?"  
"This couch is a beautiful scarlet."

"It's burgundy."

No joke.

At this point dinner would go fabulously. I'm sure.

* * *

A/N: Dinner is something I'm really excited to write. Just so you know. Also, review because it makes me happy.

GilbertDrone328: So I've decided to go with 15. Clearly.

DLGirl: Standard formula- Lizzy then Darcy, and a horizontal line to divide them. So when I switch POVs there will be that thin line.

Lucy65: Psh. As if two strong willed people would let Jane and Charlie get in the way of a little fun…

Gentileschi: Thanks.


	6. Who are you dating? You

Disclaimer: In case you haven't realized, the only thing I own are far too expensive textbooks that I have a tendency to not read. Instead choosing to write. Whoops.**

* * *

**

**Chapter 5: "Who are you dating?" "You."**

"I no longer believe that we can keep silent. We never really do, mind you. In one way or another we articulate what has happened to ous through the kind of people we become."

_Azar Nafisi- Things I've Been Silent About_

* * *

So when I woke up this morning I thought to myself, 'you know what would not be fun, is if I was not here while mother prepared to meet Charlie.' Having decided this I rolled out of bed (literally, the drop to the floor was what really got me going in the morning), and pulled on a shirt that was two sizes too big and some jeans. I'd get all dolled up tonight if Mom decided to bother me enough, but for now I was just heading to walk around Bellevue. Maybe if I got fancy I'd take a bus over to Seattle, but that would be a lot of effort.

Pleasantly, I ran into George, who I've known since high school. He also seemed to be nothing productive, which was not surprising, so we ended up in a café catching up.

"So I haven't seen you since High School Lizzy, when we did that senior prank."

"You mean you did your senior prank, I was only a little sophomore at that point and just happened to be the mastermind."

He rolled his eyes and I gave a smile.

"So it's been almost three years, what have you done with your life Mr. Whickham? Become an astronaut, fulfilled your dream of a photographer?"  
"My funding for art school actually got pulled. I've enlisted pretty recently in the army, I'm based in Fort Lewis and am just spending some time here before starting my duty."  
"Wow, I didn't see that coming. But that's awesome, and it'll give you a few years before doing something else. Maybe you'll like it, I always thought you needed some more discipline."

"Oh Liz, Oregon has turned you into an optimist!"

I gave a little giggle, George was always good for a flirting session. The bell of the café rang, but I was absorbed in my delicious chai latte. And feeling so Seattle in the independent café with a boy who wore band shirts, despite the fact I was in Bellevue which was crazy yuppie.

"Lizzy!"

I looked up to see the shock of ginger hair smiling widely. Jane must not have warned him about our mother.  
"Charlie! How are you? Prepared for the craziness of my family? Try to focus on Jane through dinner, it'll make it better. Oh, hey Darcy."

George Wickham stopped smiling and stiffened. My crazy family jokes normally went over well with him, he had met my Mom a few times and my sisters were pretty notorious, so I looked a little confused.

He turned around, "Darcy."  
"Wickham."

Was my life a bad soap opera? Because before I just thought that it was a really dull indie film, but I think that this is worse.

Then Darcy angrily exited, not even bothering to order a coffee which I knew he was addicted to. Charlie waved and confusingly went outside.

"What the Hell was that about?"  
"Well Liz, that was the reason my art school funding got pulled."

I gave him my best journalistic stare, which considering I dropped out of the school paper after two weeks was not so hot. Still, George was easy to crack.

"I don't know if you ever knew this, but I've been in and out of foster care since I was ten. I once stayed with the Darcys, and his family and I, we really got along. His Dad, he was going to adopt me, he put me in his will and everything. Sadly, he and Mrs. Darcy died in an accident. Darcy was three years older than me, and he was 18, that's when I moved here. He promised to provide when I went to high school, but he never followed through. I just can't not be bitter after that."

"Wow George, I had no idea, I'm sorry."

"Hey, you're only here for a few days, let's talk about happier things. Tell me about your beautiful older sister, how is she?"

We spent another half hour catching up. Then I left to head back to the apartment, I was having a hard time dealing with what George said. He had always been emotionally unstable, which was one of the reasons we had never dated, but I honestly had always thought of Darcy as just an asshole, not a vindictive asshole. Foster care explained a lot about George, that was tough for anyone to go to, and I was sorry he couldn't go to art school. I hadn't seen much but his doodles, but those were good.

And now I had to sit through dinner with the man. Which was bad enough with just us and Janrlie (See what I did there, these two are more sickening than Bennife and it sounds kind of like knarly, which is cool), but with this information and my family.

I was not excited, I was even less excited when Jane sat me down on a stool in the bathroom and curled my hair. Curling my hair is not productive. Mainly because my hair is naturally curly, so Jane straightens it and then puts it into pretty curls. And they then fall out two hours later. I didn't protest as she laid on the makeup thick, or picked out a dress. I didn't protest because she had been right. Now that I knew who Darcy really was I wouldn't be continuing our relationship, and I'd be hurting hers and Charlie because now things would be awkward, and double dates were just not an option.

I'd shut up and let her enjoy introducing Charlie to our family. This was a big deal to her, and it would only upset her.

When Charlie and Darcy arrived my Mom immediately set to making an embarrassment of herself. It started with her manner of dressing, which was entirely too provocative for a family dinner, not to mention any woman above 25. Heck, I would feel embarrassed to be wearing that.

"Was that car I saw from my window? How much did that cost?"  
I wondered if I could slip something into my Mom's drink to have her pass out without the drinks it normally took. I was sure she would be consuming a lot of those drinks anyways.

My Dad came out of the study, shook Bingley's hand, and then returned to ignoring everyone by sitting down with a newspaper.

Kitty was dressed in an off the shoulder clingy sweater that barely covered her crotch. And heels. Lydia was in a tube dress. With a see through middle, and no back. I had no doubt that it would fall off 'accidentally' after a few sneaked drinks. And by sneaked I mean that my mother encourages the use of 'social lubricant' with her shy young girl.

No joke.

My mother's radar went off at the sight of Darcy's watch, and I didn't feel sorry as she tried to figure out his income. And then set him up with Lydia.

"Mom, Darcy is eight years older than Lydia. I think that is creepy."

I mean, at some point it was my duty to step in. My mom ignored me.

"Shush Elizabeth. Darcy, are you single?"

Yes, he was. More than he probably currently thought.

"No, actually."  
My head, and Janrlie's heads popped up at this.

"I didn't know you were seeing anyone Darcy, is she from Portland?"

Jane was so sweet, but she kept on casting glances at my face. Her question was hardly innocent, and from the way Darcy was staying at me maybe he thought that by breaking the rules and revealing it in a crowded place I wouldn't attack him.

"Yep, we like to keep things under wrap."

"Hey Darcy, would you help me get dessert out?"

My Mom had a disappointed look on her face, and soon turned back to guessing Charlie's income and suggesting various places for weddings while Kitty and Lydia took turns leaning over the table trying to show off their boobs. Only, as they both ate too little had no boobs really. I headed into the kitchen, Darcy meekly following me. Actually, he was back to that really annoying impassive thing.

"Well Darce, I'm glad you found someone. Because I-"

"Are you seeing George Wickham?"  
"No!"  
"Because you seemed pretty cozy, and I thought our deal had some monogamy."  
"Listen, George is an old friend who I love and like to flirt with, but who I would never date or sleep with. He's an emotional wreck, thanks in part to you. But you just said you have a girlfriend."

"I meant you, you idiot."

"I made it very clear that we were not an emotional thing."

"Listen, I'm sure you were just-"

"Our deal is off."

Which maybe I should have saved this until they were leaving, as I then walked back into the living room with a cake. And realized that we had a while yet. It was not a good night.

"Charles I just got a call from my boss, I have to go, I'll see you later. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet lovely to meet you."

And then the devil Darcy was gone. The rest of our meal was peaceful, if annoying, and finally Charlie said his goodbye. My Mom went into the living room with Jane, and I headed to the kitchen to start cleaning up dinner where Colin followed me to.

"Ah, my dearest Elizabeth."

"So, how goes your work in archaeology?"

See, I can be polite.

"Oh delightful, my boss is the esteemed Lady Catherine De Bourg, you've probably heard of her, and she is actually letting me accompany her on a dig! How generous she is."

"My good friend Charlotte Lucas, actually, is into archaeology."

"Oh, how fantastic. She can visit us when we're married and on digs."  
"I'm not going to marry you."  
"You're so modest Elizabeth, it is one of the many things I love about you."

This was too much.

"Colin, I need you to listen to me. I am not going to marry you, ever. And you can not force me to, and my mother can not force me to, and I don't give a damn about what either of you think. So stop being such a stalker!"  
I would have felt bad, but his next words absolved me of any guilt.

"How dare you refuse me! You will do nothing with your life, you need a man to take care of you and I can offer that. Foolish girl, you will be sorry."

"Dude, we're related."

Because I didn't feel like launching into my feminist speech. He started crying, and then rushed out to my mother. I just think that marrying your cousin is a little outdated. And by outdated I mean really creepy. My mom soon came storming into the kitchen, screeching with her horrific octave.

"Elizabeth, you will marry Colin!"

"Mother, I'm skipping two years of college, I'm on a full ride, and I already have a job offer after college. So screw you and your outdated ideas, and stop trying to sell Lydia and Kitty off like they're pieces of meat. Screw you."

Then I left, which was not the best idea. I had no car, and I had just yelled at my Mom, she would be angry at me for a long time. Ten minutes later Jane and Mandy joined me in the lobby with all of our bags.

"You guys stay, I'll take the train. I didn't mean to get so mad, I just-"

"Mom was out of line, and we only had a few more days. Lets go home."

"Jane, you should know, I broke things off with Darcy."

I repeated the story George had told me, and though she was sure that there was some kind of misunderstanding she still wanted to take us all back to Portland.

From across the campus I spotted Charlotte, who sadly wasn't in my classes this quarter.

"Charlotte!"

"Elizabeth! I haven't seen you in a while, what's up?"

"On to the next bio a class, and still failing at Russian. You?"  
"Actually I met this boy."

Intriguing.

"You know him, he's your cousin, actually. Anyways, thanks for recommending me to him. He actually had asked me to be his intern on this new gig, I think I'm going to go."

"What? Honey, he is the creepiest person I know, and you just can't run off with a stranger from the internet."  
"I'm doing this, I'm not talented in my field and he has good connections this might be the best that I will ever get. So don't judge me."

"Charlotte that isn't what I meant."

But she walked away from me. He was just such a creepy man that I couldn't stand it. I mean, Charlotte wasn't the brightest in her field by any chance, but this was not the way to go about getting to the top. Not by dating a creepy man. Which was what she had clearly implied.

I had never had a more disappointing week in the character judgment of my friends.

* * *

She had no idea, when we were in that kitchen. When she was in the coffee shop. She had no idea what that bastard was. And she had no idea that I felt so strongly for her, that was clearly the problem. Maybe if she knew the depth of my feelings she would not have rejected me so summarily. But it was best that I put her out of my head, it was not an appropriate relationship anyways, I needed to forget her.

It wasn't so much a rejection anyway, I was heading back to the East Coast for a while. She had just looked so good, her hair silky like that, and that dress highlighting all of his favorite things about her. The glimpses of her neck through dinner had driven me to be a little forward at dinner. Still, green was such a good color on her, it brought out her eyes so perfectly.

Her sister though, she was leading Charlie on, those comments that her mother made, it was clear she was looking for a different kind of relationship. A monetary one. I had always been wary that she did not return Charlie's intense sentiments. This was proof. I decided to bring it up with Charlie while we were still alone.

"Listen Charlie, I'm not so sure about Jane."  
"What do you mean? Her mother is a little crazy, but I'm completely crazy about her."  
"But is she you?"

"What are you saying Darcy?"  
"Look, her family is clearly struggling to afford things with so many kids. I mean, it just seems that maybe Jane has been pressured to find a husband and latched on. I'm sure she doesn't mean to lead you on, but have you thought?"  
"Do you, do you really think that?"

"Yes, I do. Besides, you're so young, and you've been getting too serious too fast again. This has ended badly before."

Charlie was thinking it over, and I was sure that with some more reflection and repetition of such sentiments by myself and his sister, he would see the life. The poor boy was only in college and all ready to settle down. I simply could not let him throw away his life.

* * *

**AN**: So a tidbit for your enjoyment: Less people read chapter 3 than read chapter 4. And more of you need to review, because otherwise I don't feel the motivation to keep updating.

Karmencorn: I'll try to work on that, sometimes I forget. I also have a tendency to do run on sentences and many other bad writing habits. I will try to make sure it is more clear who is talking though! Thanks for the review.

Lucy65: You're so nice. Also I ended the fun chemistry that now can't be acted on because she has more anger, but you know, hopefully that can be fixed up.

Gil: So I'm in love with the idea of Canada. And I just wanted you to know that you should probably be on the look out for that.


	7. I'd sell myself for a Cinnabon

**Chapter 6: I'd sell myself for a Cinnabon**

**"**So, uh, do you... like cheese?"

_Shes The Man_

I looked at my computer, I looked at Jane. I looked at my computer, I looked at Jane. For a third time I repeated this. Jane was dancing to her pop music of Kate Nash, and she was baking cupcakes. She had a smile on her face.

Jane's Facebook page said that she was no longer in a relationship with Charlie Bingley.

"Jane!"

She stopped making her ponytail go in circles to look at me. I was a little sad, the movement had made our dismal apartment seem so much happier.

"When did you and Charlie break up?"  
She gave me a confused look.

"You do know that this song is pre recorded?" Jane's confusion was very evident.

"No, Jane, your Facebook page."

"What?"  
Then Jane was by my side, logging off my Facebook and onto to hers. She had gotten a notification that Charlie had ended their relationship, and in her inbox was a message from Caroline.

_Janie darling, sorry we had to dash without a proper goodbye. Anyways, Charlie got an internship and is taking a quarter off to be here in Boston, but I'm sure he'll transfer soon. Keep in touch!_

_Katya_

"Oh Jane, I can't believe that he did that. I'll fly to Boston and beat him up if you want, I'm pretty strong. Are you okay?"

The answer was no, as she burst into tears. I shut the laptop down and hugged her. I really did have a strong urge to hurt Charlie, maybe shave off his hair and make him glue it on his forehead. Then no girl would fall for such an ugly man. It was only fair the outside reflected the inside.

"This is all my fault, this, I mean, I must have been such a horrible girlfriend. Maybe I should have had sex, I just, I didn't know this was going to happen."

"Jane! No, this is completely inappropriate. Charlie is being a coward and an asshole, and I'm glad you didn't have sex because he doesn't deserve anything from you."

"Easy for you to say Lizzy, but I loved him."

"I know honey, but at least you got out now."

She nodded, and started to cry some more. Jane had always had low self esteem, our mother did a fair enough job of that. I can't believe that Charlie would do this, he had always seemed so nice, and fair. This was not a good week for my judgment, and I wasn't sure how Jane would recover. She was so fragile.

Three days later and my freezer was stocked for a post break-up fest. Despite the fact that Jane had moved on to a threesome with Ben and Jerry (a big step up), and I had seen their flavors so much that I could probably recite the nutritional information in my sleep, every time I came home a sappy romantic movie was on. Charlie hadn't called, and through my urging I had made her delete him as a friend so that she would stop internet stalking him.

Mandy was being pushed to the edge of her compassion, and I really was starting to hope that we would see the end.

My Aunt and Uncle came for a few days, and I had never been so glad to see them. They normally tried to see us, their favorite nieces, once a year, and they had never had better timing.

Aunt Chelsea was a freelance writer, and Uncle John was a restaurant owner. So when I came home from a grueling class (past tense? Really?) I was happy to smell delicious cooking from my tiny kitchen and see a red eyed Jane laughing.

"My favorite relatives all together!"  
Chelsea laughed before getting up to envelope me in a hug.

"I have come up with a most evil plot, I want to take Jane away from you. Summer quarter she'll spend in Boston with us, and then we can come see you next spring on your top secret adventure? You'll be able to have visitors by then, right?"

I nodded and squealed in excitement. It would be good for Jane to get away from Portland, and Boston was such a big city I wasn't worried that she would ever run into him.

"You two are such globetrotters. Come on, let's get out to Powells* after dinner. I know it's the only reason you ever visit this city."

And then we had a lovely three day visit before they headed up to Seattle to say hi to my parents. Now that Jane had something to look forward to she seemed to be doing better. She refused to say that she was upset, but I sensed a change in her view of things.

It was all too soon that Jane was packed up and the quarter was over.

"You going to seek him out?"  
"No, what happens, happens, but I think that even though there is no hard feelings he didn't respect me enough to tell me what wasn't working for him. It was my first love, and it was a good love, but I think I've moved on."

"I'm proud of you Jane, it takes a lot to stand up for yourself like that. Have fun in Boston, don't get too caught up in a love affair with Paul Revere."

I got updates from her, she had lunch with Caroline (who was now going by Carmen and claiming to be getting in touch with her Spanish roots), but had never seen Charlie. Boston seemed to simply be a mediocre time, but Jane made the best of it.

I was busy in my last quarter. I had been working on getting all the last things done, and was now taking the two week vacation at the end of the quarter. After this, thanks to doing so many summer quarters, I'd only have Autumn quarter left. Then I was going to start on my big adventure, but for now I was visiting Char on her dig.

I started out in a flight to Mexico, where I got stuck in the Portland airport for a few hours before finally getting on my flight. The cinnabon guy kept hitting on me, but as I got free cinnabons, I didn't stop it. I felt a little ashamed, but mostly full.

Then the air conditioning in Mexico was broken, and my next plane was delayed for twenty hours. I spent the time playing yatze on a handheld device. Hooray. At least this thing was free, that was something. The security guards searched my luggage intensely, suprisingly I forgot to pack my cocaine. Snap! My next flight landed me in South America, although it was Peru and I really just wanted to explore Lima and not see my creepy cousin, and my next flight was a small biplane which was very rocky indeed.

The plane ride was long, and hot, and by the time I got to Argentina I was tired. Colin's face did not help matter. Colin's smug smile and then really gross feeling up action to Char was grosser. I wanted to puke. I mean, his hands were just everywhere and Char was taking it all. Plus I had caught a glimpse of sweat plastered hair. I had to suck it up though.

"Hey guys. Thanks for flying me out here."

"Lady Catherine would do anything for our happiness."

Right, because that wasn't creepy.

We drove in a small car over a bumpy road out into their campsite. Which was nice.

"You happy Char? I mean, you're getting credit for this and I know that you've basically graduated, but are you happy?"  
"This place is amazing, you'll fall in love with it too."

Maybe, but I wasn't really willing to sacrifice my values for this kind of job, however much of a dream it was.

* * *

**AN**: Thanks for the reviews! *Powells is the most amazing bookstore in the world, it takes up a whole city block.

Gil: Ugh, I took a two hour nap by accident today after pulling weeds for six hours. But yes, assuredly Canada will come into play. I know, I thought that high school was the best choice. Did you have a nice day off?

Jkmk: Thanks

Lucy: The George sections are always the hardest to read/write. I'm always in my head just wishing for someone to just beat him up.

Eclpise: Thanks for the constructive feedback. I'll try to keep an eye on that.

Karmen: Last chapter was not the original proposal, just the catalyst for it. We'll get to that probably next chapter.

Sunshine: No, I'm from the Northwest and have family in Portland, but am not from there myself.


	8. Awkwardtina

**Chapter 7: Awkwardtina**

"More love, more happy happy love."

_John Keats- Ode to a Grecian Urn_

* * *

I spent 14 days in Argentina. I think that my best option at this point is to lay things out chronologically, because I get enough time shifting from watching Lost.

_1._

Planes and I do not get along. They resent me, I think, for using them without returning affection. As such, they have conspired with airports to make my life rather annoying. By the time I arrive I feel happy to see Colin's rather rodentesque face. And yes, I did just make that word up. This feeling disappears as I watch him grope Char. In the middle of baggage claim. Classy.

I'm not sure that I'm entirely awake or coherent on the ride to camp, as I know that people are talking but I'm not sure that it's English. My brain doesn't seem to mind, and the beauty of the country is passing me by.

Char opens the door and guides me into an adorable little cabin that reminds me of summer camp in elementary school. Mostly it reminds me of beds. I sleep.

_2._

I woke up and felt refreshed, wandered outside in my pajamas and didn't bother to stifle a yawn as I looked around for someone to tell me where to go. Maybe I should have paid more attention.

However, a cute guy stumbles out of the jungle. A really cute guy. And I'm wearing my pajamas, and not those adorable pajamas but flannel pants and an oversized t-shirt with Charlie the Unicorn. Man, I'm cool.

"Hi, you must be Elizabeth!"

"Hey guy who knows who I am."

He grinned then, and introduced himself as Fitz. Which is a unique name, and therefore awesome. Apparently Fitz is the nephew of Colin's boss and is vacationing here. My Aunts live in Kirkland and Boston respectively, not as exciting.

"I've heard so much about you!"  
"Funny, Char hasn't mentioned you."

He looked confused before ushering me back to get dressed. Apparently he designated himself as my supervisor for the day. I didn't mind.

We were heading to the site first, and then meeting everyone for lunch at the big boss's place. I gathered that fresh faces were relatively rare in the 'remote' (the car drive from the airport was not that long) jungle. The site itself was pretty dull, I know I'm an anthropology student and all but I'm much more into the cultural scene. To me it appeared to be a large pit, but hey, it turns Charlotte on.

Speaking of which if Colin and the other boys were any indication, it turns out archaeologists don't look like Indiana Jones. This will be one of the most monumental disappointments in my life.

Char reaches up to hug me and promptly covers in me in dirt. Which is cool, because my changing involved denim cutoffs and a slightly less oversized t-shirt, this time The Raven written in shape of a raven. I've decided that haute couture is best left out of this place.

Apparently we don't all feel this way, Colin eyes my body and not in his normal perverted way, but in a judgmental way.

"I hope you brought something more dignified for lunch."

"Nope."

"Have Charlotte loan you some of her stuff when we're back at the cabins tonight."

Despite the fact that I'm no longer five it appears Colin still thinks that I can't dress myself. My mother would agree. I wonder if they could get together and have a scandalous affair. Is that wrong?

Better yet though, better yet is lunch. Because at lunch I meet Lady-Catherine. That's her name, like Mary-Sue or Billy-Joe, its Lady-Catherine. And this woman could inspire a thousand novels, like an ugly neurotic Helen of Troy.

I feel transported back to 1950, as Lady opens the door wearing a ball gown, and looking disapprovingly at my shorts. Fitz is luckily also wearing shorts, so she doesn't comment. When Char arrives I notice that she has changed into a nice dress.

Lunch is long. Or at least, after I snacked on cheese and crackers for half an hour, assumed it would be long. This is so not the Argentina I imagined. As I hear the door slam I hope its her server in a hurry.

"Hey Aunt Cat, sorry I'm late."

So on the plus side, I'm not attracted to really mean nasty people. I'm just attracted to their genetics. This is a relief. On the other hand, I've spent the afternoon flirting with a man who I can only assume is Darcy's cousin or brother. I'm sure the look on my face says it all.

"Lizzy?"  
"You two know each other?"  
"Not really. We met a few times in Portland. Wow Lady-Catherine, this cheese is really good. I've never had Argentina cheese before."

Changing the subject should have been a major at college.

"Don't be silly! I import my cheese from France."

Really?

On the plus side she has now moved on to criticizing the cows of this country, so that's something we can all be thankful for. Darcy sits across from me next to Fitz, at the far end from Lady.

Colin is loudly chattering about how wonderful a site she picked when Lady interrupts to quiz me.

"Tell me Elizabeth, any sisters?"  
"Three miss."

"And are they all gallivanting around like you?"

Because going to college is equivalent to gallivanting?

"The youngest two are finishing up high school, but the oldest is off at college. She has another sister."

"What a burden on your mother, sending so many girls to school at once. My daughter would have been a great scholar, had not her illness affected her so."

She is of course talking about Anne, who as far as I can tell is normal despite not having a tan in this weather and a rather persistent cough.

"She and my father worked together to raise us."

"A father helping? How disagreeable. You must let me write your mother and give her some proper advice on how to run a house."

"With all respect Lady, I found that it was quite agreeable to have two loving parents looking after me rather than an absent father figure for socioeconomic reasons."

"How would you know, surely you can't be older than 21."

"I find myself opposed to judgement based on age."

"How old are you."

"I'd really rather not get in to this."

"I demand you tell me."  
I demand you take medication for paranoia. But hey, I'm never going to see after these two weeks and I can't very well try and land Fitz now that he is related to such demonic people.

"19."

Lady gives a smirk before returning to her lunch. I give an eye roll before returning to mine.

_3._

I spend the day going into town with a native, and using my butchered Spanish and her butchered English to communicate. Overall, a good time, although this town clearly has major class problems. Colin has given me his credit card so that I can buy a dress, and Ana and I take care in picking out something expensive and probably not modest enough for the occasion.

You see, I've been invited back for dinner.

And the humidity and my hair do not mix well. I try to ignore this and focus on the positive. My body looks good. I can use tonight to be passive aggressive to Darcy, which is awesome.

Lady has set up a piano. I don't know where it came from, but the clear expectation is that I'm supposed to play. Char has evidently been learning.

There is something I may not have been upfront about, I have no musical talent. I clap offbeat. I sing off key. I'm sure that even my snoring somehow violates a musical ethic.

So I sit down and Fitz winks so I slide over. He has learned to play the piano, and I move my fingers so that it looks like a duet. Very fortunate. After a moment Darcy comes over to join us, looking very cross.

"Tell me about Darcy in Portland."

My favorite topic.

"When I first met him he told me I was a trashy person, a drunkard, and a lewd dancer."

Darcy interjects that I was eavesdropping, but Fitz simply gives a hearty laugh. I wonder if Darcy would sound like that if he laughed. I've never actually heard it.

"What are you kids talking about?"

Darcy rescues us from Lady, "Just the possibility of the language evolution of the native tongue here Aunt."

She nodded and beckoned Darcy over, he meekly followed. I sort of enjoy this torture of him by someone other than me.

_4._

Today I'm stuck at a presentation that Colin is giving about the site that their digging to the city council. And I'm so not interested. In fact, my non interest is to the level that I've been texting Fitz across the room. If he didn't come with Lady, Anne, and Darcy, I'd so set him up with Jane as the perfect rebound guy.

Do you think Colin knows that he is using a fake accent while talking?

Psh, doubt it.

You just said psh. How are you related to Darcy?

My cousin isn't bad.

Have you talked to him lately?

Hey, just a few months ago he totally saved his friend's ass.

I'm hooked.

This kid was in love with a girl who wanted him to get married so she could take his money. He took the guy away to Boston.

Lizzy?

Shh, I'm getting into the lecture.

…

That man! Jane, Charlie, it all made sense now. All of it made sense.

_5._

I take a lot of walks. Argentina is not so exciting, but I've been getting some good pictures. And debating on if I should tell Jane.

_6._

I take some more walks.

_7._

I ran into Darcy on my walk. What are the odds? I think our conversation went like this.

"Fuck off."

"Don't be so hostile."

"Just get away."

And then he listened to me.

_8._

Except not. More Darcy. Our conversation was slightly more civilized, way more awkward. In fact, at one point I started to recite John Keats poems in my head.

_9._

I'm pretty sure that Fitz has to be a genetic mutant. Today we went and saw some ruins and took a helicopter ride. Darcy tagged along because he takes enjoyment in my misery. This much is very obvious.

He also likes to say awkward things, I feel like he misunderstands Fitz interest in me. Comments like, "How's your girlfriend?" "You know Fitz has been seeing a lovely girl."

You get the point. The response is normally that Fitz starts talking about how Lady is still pushing for Darcy to get engaged to Anne, apparently she was adopted so it isn't gross in Lady's eyes. But thankfully it is in everyone else's.

This is one creepy family.

_10._

For my last three days Char and I heading to the capital to party it out before I have to get back. I'm excited, I haven't had nearly enough quality time with her. She was off finishing last minute paperwork and I was repacking my stuff. I'd miss this cabin, it was prettily situated and it was a cool perspective to have on this country. I wasn't much into the tourist thing.

There was a knock on the door, in mind I was wishing for Fitz because I had picked these really pretty flowers that would dry out really well, and it'd be cute to give to the girlfriend Darcy always carried on about.

I opened the door, to Darcy.

"No need to clear the air of awkwardness, I'm going and I got the impression you won't be seeing Portland anytime soon."

He nodded and then entered my cabin anyways. Cool.

"Listen, I need to get this out. I've tried hard to put you out of my mind, convinced that I had just been seduced by your body. After all, you're awkward, brash, tactless, and far too young for me. Not to mention your family, but you must let me tell you how ardently I feel for you. I want us to have a relationship more than sex, I want you to be my girlfriend."

I just kind of stood there for a moment. Then my mouth slowly started to work, or at least, I said, 'no'.

"I understand your concern, but after graduation you can move to Boston to be with me naturally, and I'll find you a job in Darcy cooperation."

"No, you can't do this! Insult me in every possible way and my family. After what you did to George, denying him promised funds for art school and denying him a family on top of that. And splitting Jane apart from her first love? Did you honestly think my smart well educated sister wanted to marry him for his money? You're an asshole, and need to get the fuck out."

And he did. And I stayed in a state of shock for quite a while.

Then I slept, and by the time Char came to get me I had woken up to a letter being pushed under the door.

_11._

That letter. Shit. Holy fucking shit, Darcy is still an undeniable asshole, but George. I can't believe, I was just, holy fucking shit.

_12._

The beaches are beautiful.

_13._

Char parties hard, considering I don't drink, I party less hard, but we have fun going to the clubs and I try to focus on not the letter.

_14._

I board the plan home, and hug Char. It may not matter, I really won't see Darcy again, but I feel bad. We both made some mistakes, and in some sense, I guess I led him on a touch. After Caroline he must not have realized I was serious about wanting a relationship. But in three months I will be far far away. And when I come home Jane will be there. I just, George.

* * *

**AN**: I woke up at 6 to write an essay on why John Locke says you can't donate both your kidneys, which is funny because I watched Lost last night. That was much more fun than writing my essay.

Gil: I am so open to including violence in this story. Also, I hate chores as well, something that my roommates do not appreciate.

Icarus: For future reference, I am indeed a girl. So feel free to use this to effect all your praise in the future, because you know, I'm a praise whore. It was either casual sex or a business merger, I decided that this one was more fun. It'd be fun to write an AU story where she does end up with Fitz, at least for short term, but I'm afraid it didn't fit into this plan.

Vitamins: My grammar is horrific, a fact I readily acknowledge. It is one of my great shames an English major, but this story is just for kicks/distraction, so I haven't been too heavy on the editing. Hope it doesn't bother you too much.

Sarah: Not sure I understand.

CC: Thanks.

Hwashih: Thank you.

Kate: It was so a filler chapter, but this one was more legit.

Lucy: I think that Facebook has sadly served its purpose in the story.


	9. Another Interlude

AN: If you all recall how I've been not so cannon this story, this chapter is where I seriously divert into AU. And its also the main reason I wanted to write this story, so for those of you who are hardcore Jane/Bingley shippers, count your loses and choose another story.

* * *

Today is reunion day. As in, today I walked into the airport and yelled "JANE" who yelled "LIZZY" before we ran in slow motion towards each other. I wanted to do that hug where I pick her up and spin her around, but sadly my working out efforts have been confined to long walks (though not on a beach to be fair) and we had to settle for a normal hug.

I had gotten back from Argentina a week ago, but Jane was just now arriving from Boston, finally deciding that with school starting in two days it'd be good to get back and get over jetlag.

"How was Boston? Was John Adams everything you hoped and more?"

"I want to hear about Argentina! Did you lie on beaches topless and then fend off jaguars?"

"If by jaguars you mean nasty but beautiful beasts who want to attack me, and if by that you mean Will Darcy, then yes."

And I really probably should have shut up at this point. Or maybe the point before. Like really, you should just stop reading and skip to the bottom and maybe everything would have been a touch happier, in that phony bad hallmark movie sense of the world.

"Darcy was there? Small world."

"Jane, I found out what happened with you and Charlie." The point of no return. "Darcy, he thought that you were using Charlie and wanted to get married right away, and he intervened. And Darcy actually has seen his wrongs, and apologized, and I think that I've been wrong about a lot of him, but that's why Charlie left, and I just, I thought you should know."

See? Really long sentences are bad signs. Periods, not commas, are your friends.

I wanted to tell her all of the letter, about how Darcy wanted us to date, but I mean, that was between us, and I wanted to tell her about how much of an asshole George really was but I couldn't betray this new confidence. I just, she deserved to know.

"It's okay, I'm over it. I've decided that this year I'm going to rely on my merits, I know Char is your friend but I don't want to be the type of girl with such low self esteem she'll take whatever she gets. I'm going to graduate in a year, and I want to do something I enjoy for reasons of merit."

"I'm proud of you Jane. Enough sentiment though, Mandy said she was baking something for your return and if she forgets to put in sugar again I'm going to cry."

Jane laughed at this, and we soon returned into an easy banter.

The quarter started soon, and I was busy with my last quarter of classes and packing for my big adventure. Jane was applying herself to her studies with a renewed vigor and taking the initiative in looking for internships. Mandy was apparently part of a research team on some groundbreaking study and was gone even more.

I was sitting in my room looking through the pictures folder on my computer when Jane entered.

"That looks productive Liz, what're you up to?"

"I'd like to have a physical photo album when I go. I mean, I'll still have my computer and all but it'll be nice to have something I can carry with me and not have to worry about batteries."  
"Fun, do you want me to scrapbook for you?"  
"Far too much effort."

Jane smiled and we were clicking through pictures when I heard the knock on the door. This would be the fourth time this week that Mandy forget to bring her keys, I started to yell as I went. We live in a cheap place. Walls = thin.

"Mandy, you can't keep forgetting your keys, you're more a genius than anyone else here, and we always rem-, oh, hey."

Because it turns out that unless Mandy had transformed into a ginger haired man in the last two hours, it was Charlie at the door. Awkward.

Jane had come into the hallway behind me and once she saw who was behind the door with a bouquet of flowers she stopped.

Mostly notably about this scene was how much I thought it'd make a good scene from one of those chick flicks Jane forced me through. There was Charlie dressed nicely with probably the most expensive flower arrangement I'd ever seen, there was me in jeans and a tank top as the funny sidekick, and there was Jane in her booty shorts and ratty sweatshirt, looking so befuddled that if she had been the deer in my headlights, I'd have run her over out of pity.

Charlie stepped over the threshold and I stepped back until Jane was in front of me and we were all in the living room.

"I'm just going to-"  
"Stay."

Well if Jane wanted me to stay and add to all the awkwardness in the room, then I guess I would. Even though right now could not have been more awkward if there had been porn on television. Which I was considering trying to find to break up the tension.

"Jane, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am, I had no idea you were in Boston."  
"That's what you're sorry about? That we didn't catch up while I was in town, not the fact that you fucking left town and broke up with me on fucking Facebook?"

Jane didn't swear, Jane was dainty. This was like if I (or an evil demon) was possessing Jane. I was kind of in awe.

"Well of course I'd like to apologize about that too. I let myself believe some things and I've regretted it. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, Jane, I love you."

"Some things? Some things Charles Bingley? Darcy told you I was a gold digger and you believed him without even stopping by to ask if any of that was true. You can't love me if you'd give me up so easily."

Then occurred a period of silence, where I will interrupt people's faces.

Charlie: Oh shit, you weren't supposed to know about that.

Jane: Damn right I know about that.

Me: This is awkward. Is anyone else awkward?

Charlie: Jane, I love you.

Jane: Charlie, I'm trying this whole self-respect thing, it doesn't involve you.

Me: So the other day I had a dream in which I went to Brazil and was on a farm.

Finally after a good time of this when I started to hum Jeopardy under my breath, inappropriate but good for dissolving awkward moments.

"Jane, I love you, and I made a mistake. Humans made mistakes. I'm asking for a second chance, I want to get married to you, I want to live my life with you. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met."

She literally took him down. I swear I've never thought of Jane as strong, but she just fucking punched Bingley in the eye. Who knew she had such a kick ass right hook?

"You think I'm beautiful, and that's all you've ever needed. You aren't talking about love, you're talking about a trophy that you only want its easy. Just, get out, I loved you so much, and I just, I can't see you."

Charlie, wisely, left. Leaving Jane still breathing hard and once again crying. The arrangement of flowers left on our living room floor.

I gave her a hug and we stood there for a while before she was coherent enough to talk.

"I can't do that again Lizzy, I didn't mean to hurt him, but when he said," it was hard to hear her through the sniffles, "when he said that I was beautiful I lost it. That's what so many have always seen me as, sure, Jane's the beauty, but everyone else is the personality, and the heart. I can't do that again."

I murmured soothing 'I knows' into her hair and then we spent the rest of the night baking.

* * *

**AN**: Okay, I'm sorry, because Charlie is a sweet heart normally, but in this story Jane's character changes through what she goes through, and she learns to stand up for herself. And it was requested that she hit Charlie, so I threw it in.

Gribbs: Thanks, I try to update pretty fast, even though right I now I really should be studying for a big test. Psh.

Gil: Right hook good enough?

Fluffy: Thanks, I think that was the best modern translation I could come up with.

Cescab: Really? Thats the most horrific thing I've heard.

Sarahr85: Another review has kindly pointed out that you are confusing my story with one called Forgotten First Impressions. I'd be happy if you read mine as well, but I've never have (and am not planning to have) a character named Mabel. Hope this clears things up


	10. Birthday!

**Chapter 8: Birthday!**

"It's funny how the intuition stabs you  
I'm headfirst diving off the plank  
Good Morning."

_Charlotte Martin, Keep Me In Your Pocket_

* * *

Finals are like those commercials for allergy medications. You know, everything becomes 'Claritin Clear' and suddenly the fog is lifted and everything is Claritin Clear? Only there aren't any smiles, because when the fog is pulled off is when you realize that instead of studying really hard this quarter you've been daydreaming in class, and as interesting as the thought of Aloe Vera plants breed with avocados to create a vegetable that was soothing to the inside of your body, that wasn't really what the class was on. Right now, it's a bit of a panicky mode.

Except for my two roommates, who have always been quite studious. My bad.

Anyways, I had decided that I quite didn't like school, but I really did need to get my degree. So I studied, and studied, and had a few freak-outs, and studied.

After my last final I came back to the apartment so beyond ecstatic. I was done! Although it had only taken me a little over two years, so really, maybe I wasn't justified in feeling this ecstatic, but I was.

So wrapped up in my bliss, that when I was riding the elevator I didn't even cringe to remember how everything ended with Darcy. So happy that when I entered my apartment, I splayed myself on our couch (and though I'm relatively short, my feet still hung off) and fell soundly asleep.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed when my body was roused by a most excellent smell. I kept my eyes closed and focused on the scents as I tried to figure out what it was and if I could steal if before Jane noticed (it Mandy had made it I'd be too afraid to eat it).

Opening my eyes I saw Jane's smiling face before me. I quickly shut my eyes again.

"Oh God, you've been listening to happy music again. I told you, turn on Charlotte Martin and stop trying to emulate a fricking sunflower."

I was only rewarded with a giggle.

"Elizabeth Eowyn Bennet, you are no longer a teenager. Show a little joy."

I thought about it, it had been a while since it was my birthday. And today was, Jane was right!

"Please tell me that that smell is my birthday cake and I will love you forever and ever and forgive you for being a happy person when I'm napping."

"It's your birthday cake."

I got up quickly before Jane stopped me, "You have to wait until tonight though, some of your friends are coming over. Consider it a birthday fiesta and going away party."

I really didn't deserve such a sweet sister. I suppose I had two ones shallower than an ice cube tray to make up for it.

"I can't believe you're leaving me."

To tell the truth, I couldn't either. I'd always imagined having grand adventures, but now I couldn't really believe it. In a week I would be in Switzerland, combining my love for biology, interest in international affairs, and desire to help others would culminate in a new position as an intern doing something with the health commission. Basically the point is that I would be in Switzerland with the UN. Which is awesome.

After Argentina I had sworn to never board a plane again, but that was exactly what I found myself doing sadly. Because like previously stated airplanes and I do not get along. It turns out though, that all Cinnabon guys have some sort of immense attraction to me, and normally I wouldn't be so cocky but there is only so many reasons someone gives you a free cinnabon.

However, one has to weigh free cinnabons with flights that last for fifteen hours, not counting the flights before and after. I arrived in Bern finally and crashed at my hotel for a good twenty four hours before getting settled into my new life.

"Aunty!"

"And what I am chopped liver?"  
"Sorry Uncle, but I can't bring myself to love a man who uses such cliché lines. When do you two get here?"

For I had expected to meet them at the train station in a few hours, and here they were on my door step. Reflecting, it seems a touch creepy.

"We hoped trains a bit early, turns out that Milan was no where near as amazing Rome so we moved on."

Which was one of the things I loved about my Aunt, Chelsea was writing an article on the train system in Europe in comparison to America, and I think it was just an excuse to be in Western Europe. Which had so far proven to be very beautiful indeed.

My apartment was small, but John and Chelsea had apparently been to the farmer's market before stopping in, and in my tiny un air-conditioned kitchen a lovely meal was soon being prepared.

"So, working with some many diplomats and scientists, meet any hot boys?"

Chelsea always had been the matchmaking sort, and I can't say I wasn't tempted. There were a few things that I loved in life more than an accent. But even though the reason I had kept myself out of relationships in Oregon had been the fact that I was moving to Switzerland, now that I was here I couldn't get over how horrible I was at judging someone's character. I just wasn't ready to trust myself.

"Sadly older diplomats are too dignified for my tastes, and the other interns are boozehounds."

Which actually wasn't too much of an exaggeration. I had learned how to make excuses for not drinking in several languages. Which was a fun exercise.

John laughed, it was nice to have such a normal family. I wasn't really used to it, my family is normal in the sense that the Hiltons are normal. Which is to say that we're not.

"Come on doll, finish eating because we're going to Pemberly! Which knowing you there has been no time to go see one of the most famous art museums."

It was true, I hadn't, but for other reasons. After my shock at finding out that Will was a CEO I may have googled him. Pemberly was only still in existence due to his company's large donations. His sister worked there as curator in training or something, and I just didn't want to somehow have an awkward run in. Knowing me, it'd go like this:

George: Miss, are you lost, these are the offices?

Me: Why yes, I always get lost. You have a striking resemblance to Will Darcy.

George: Oh, he's my brother!

Me: Oh, we had sex a lot, but then I falsely accused him and he loved me and I totally rejected him.

George: Harsh man.

Me: Totally.

All in British accents when I do that in my mind of course.

But logically that was probably not the most reasonable approach, so I decided to not put up a fuss. However, I did put on some mascara just in case. I'm paranoid and superficial, but at least I admit it.

We strolled our way to the art museum, only to find Chelsea (to no great surprise) chatting up someone who worked there.

"Honey, Lizzy, this is Rennie. Look at that nice 'e' sound with all of you. Anyways, we were in a hostel in Bhutan for a while together back in the day. She's going to give us a private tour."

It turns out that by 'private tour' she meant that Chelsea and Rennie would gossip while a famous painting was occasionally pointed out. Naturally, I soon drifted behind, finding myself looking at the donor wall. Around me were famous paintings that cost more than I could probably imagine, and I was staring at a photograph of Darcy.

"Oh yes, Mr. Darcy has been so generous in keeping us open. Without him I'd probably be out of a job."

"Lizzy, weren't you two friends in Portland?"  
"We knew each other."  
I don't think I can call us friends with what we were doing. It was like, non-friends with benefits.

"How lovely, you're going to miss him. He's coming for a visit for a few weeks soon, but I'm afraid he isn't due to arrive until tomorrow."

Words have never sounded so good from Rennie's mouth. Although considering the previous conversation had been between refugees from Bhutan and whether Julie ever did get an STD from that strange man it wasn't much of a comparison.

"Listen, come and see the courtyard, it isn't open to the public yet, Ms. Darcy has been working on it and let me tell you, you'll be in love."

So we followed her out past the blocked doors that needed keys and into what was perhaps that most beautiful place that I have ever seen. It was most gentle landscaping with wide windows from the museum building elegantly framed and various sculptures scattered throughout. It was breathtaking, and looked less like a museum than a delightful place to read a book.

"George, this is amazing."  
"Do you really think so brother."

Shit. She had a British accent in real life! Clearly I can see the future and should have followed my gut instinct. That shrubbery, I could hide behind it.

"Darcy, both of you! How delightful, I was giving a sneak peek to my old friend and her husband and niece. You're early."

Darcy laughed, he hadn't spotted me. That shrub really wouldn't afford enough coverage, maybe the statue?

"You aren't in trouble Renyat. Hi I'm, Lizzy?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm Lizzy."

Actually I'm pretty sure that was the most awkward thing I've ever said. And I've said a lot of awkward things.

"Aunt Chelsea, Uncle John, this is my friend Will," he practically was glowing, and I'm sure my face had not been as red even when I forgot to put on sun screen during a long bike ride, "Will, this is my aunt and uncle."

"This is my little sister George. It's a pleasure to meet you both."

"I really didn't know you were going to be here, I'm so sorry. I'm really, I just."  
"No, really, I mean, its great to see you. How's your family."

"Good, good. Yours?"

"Great."

"Chelsea and John, maybe Rennie and I could show you the fountain?"

Well George didn't inherit her brother's social awkwardness, clearly. She looked pretty and professional, and made me wish I had worn heels. While not a great beauty, she had a quiet sort of elegance but now I was alone. With Will.

"What are you doing in Bern?"

"I'm working for the UN now, it's what I was preparing for all last year."

"You should come and visit, Charlie will be here tomorrow."

"Last time I saw Charlie he was getting a black eye, I'm sure he isn't a big fan of me."

"Oh no, I'm sure you'll be fine. Charlie feels bad mostly, and I'd really like you to get to know George. She's sweet, but is so focused on succeeding that her only female friend is Caroline, and well-"

"Anything to rescue someone from the clutches of Caroline. Or Katya, or Carmen. I loose track."  
"I believe that this season it is Cecile, she has decided to be French."

I was giggling, "I'd say I'm suprised, but I'm not."

"Did you have a nice birthday?"

I nodded then, and things were less awkward as we joined the group back up. Darcy and I arranged for me to come to a party at the museum tonight with Chelsea and John. He had enjoyed talking with both of them, which was weird. Maybe Switzerland was an alternate dimension where everyone just ate really amazing chocolate and was suddenly nice.

"Well Lizzy, as a reward for getting me and this ragtag husband of mine invited to such a fancy soiree, I believe we should buy you a new dress for tonight. After all, don't you want to look good for your Darcy?"  
"It isn't like that Chelse."

It isn't like that at all. And I felt a little sad about it.

* * *

She was here. Which was odd, because it was my mueseum and when I first saw her I thought maybe it was all in my head. I had imagined her so much everywhere I was sure I was doing it again.

She wanted to come to the party tonight. And judging from the last time I had seen her dressed up I couldn't exactly not be looking forward to seeing it again. Lizzy was beautiful, but so often she covered herself in unflattering clothes, that I was forced to leave it to my imagination. Which was quite good.

Picking Charlie up from the train station I broke the news. Earlier, I may have been lying when I said he was cool with it. His sister was with him, her arm wrapped around a porter's neck until she saw me.

"Willy!"  
"Hey Bingleys, I ran into an old friend of ours. Charlie, you're still coming tonight, right?"

"Of course, but is it Anna, because she always tries to slip me something and I just feel uncomfortable."

"No, no, it's Lizzy. And be nice, she feels bad for what happened."

I could smooth things over, after all, my best friend had to get along with. No, she had made that clear, but maybe? After all, that letter should have. I couldn't bring myself to hope for too much too soon.

* * *

**AN**: You guys are so nice to me. But due to less time I'm just responding to people who have questions/need responding, sorry.

Thanks Gentileschi, Vitamin, Lucy, hjky, Sophie, and Hamlet.

Icarus: Right? I'd be so pissed off if the only thing people ever commented on were my looks.

Gil: Yuck, Taco Bell. Also, I was rereading P&P a bit last night, and you know who I really like a lot less upon second read? Mr. Bennet, before I was always why does Darcy include him in embarrassing family, but I picked up on it a lot more this time. Just thought I'd share.

Fluffy: Also, Facebook = All the drama surrounding Prince Harry. I so predict the future.

Cescaab: Then I won't ruin it.


	11. Rich Swiss Miss

**Chapter 9: Rich Swiss Miss**

**Pam Beesley**: "I'm really sorry... if you misinterpreted things. It's probably my fault."  
**Jim Halpert**: "Not your fault. I'm sorry I misinterpreted our friendship."  
Pam Beesley and Jim Halpert, _The Office_

* * *

These are the facts: Caroline Bingley is crazy. Picture a stereotypical sorority girl with twenty four hour a day access to tanning salons and bleach stations and no sense of social niceties, and you get her. And that's a generous description.

Charlie Bingley is not so crazy, but such an easy going (and by easy going I mean pushover) guy that he has never seen fit to stop his sister from tagging along and making an embarrassment of herself.

George Darcy is cute, but when not talking about her work hardly speaks. Like, at all, and I'm considered a fair conversationalist (or maybe I just like to break awkward silences, is that the same?).

Darcy (is it weird that I call a man I've slept with numerous times by his last name? Because it might be a little creepy.) is just socially inept.

I'm awkward because I feel bad about what I did, and that I witnessed the humiliation of Charlie, and that my Aunt and Uncle are here at a party with my friends.

Sounds like a good time, right?

Luckily it's a party and I can mingle. I've never been so eager to network, and quickly find myself in a conversation with a Swiss banker, George, an Italian painter, and a Chinese diplomat. Then Darcy starts to hover, and I think the conversation went like this.

Rich Swiss Miss: I love your work Vincent, how many gallery showings have you done?

Italian Mister: This is my first. The beautiful Miss Darcy here was kind to give a young artist a shot.

Rich Swiss Miss finds her chance for a hook-up with one foreign man ruined, and moves on to the other.

Rich Swiss Miss: And how are you enjoying our beautiful country Mr. Yen?

Diplomatic Innuendo Man: If the ladies are any indication (insert creepy look here) very beautiful indeed. I look forward to getting to know your, country, very well.

Me: Well, if nothing else you make some fantastic chocolate! Say George, have you gotten to tour the chocolate factory? I know you're here so often with work that you might have never played tourist.

Hot Chocolate leads off her new boy-toy (although he is a creepy middle aged man) to a more intimate corner.

George: No, not yet.

Vincent: Oh, you must. I'd love to take you, as a sort of thanks.

And by that, I mean I'd love to get into your pants. Because you're rich, and like my art.

Me: Say, where are you from George? Your brother doesn't have the same accent at all.

And is creepily watching us from five feet away where Caroline keeps trying to stick her hand down his pants. Literally.

George: Will moved around so much that he never got a huge accent, but when I was a toddler we started to settle down more in the London area.

Darcy, noting that we are talking about him, moves over. Caroline and Charlie come with. I feel bad for Vincent.

Me: How much more adventurous, my life has been pretty sedentary. Say Vincent, what part of Italy do you live in?

Vincent: Rome. I mean, I mean Florence. I used to live in Rome.

Me: Too much competition from the dead masters?

Vincent: Yea, hey, I just saw my friend. I'll see you later George.

And then he winked at her. And my one relatively painless conversation was gone.

Caroline: Willy, why don't you drive me back to my apartment. I don't think you've seen all the rooms yet.

Darcy: I've seen enough.

Burn.

Me: Hey, it was good seeing you all, I'm going to hit up the snacks.

And then I walk off and try to find Chelsea or John, because this is just not fun.

After having a lot of really delicious appetizer things I found myself admiring a painting. Vincent was a douche, but he did have talent. Or at least in my very undeveloped aesthetic taste views he did.

"Do you like my sister?"  
"She's lovely. Although now that I know her I'm kind of sad you don't have a British accent."

He gave a small smile at that, and I was glad that things weren't as awkward as they could have been. In the spirit of my being a good person (it was almost New Year's after all), I decided to apologize.

"Look, I read the letter, and I'm sorry I acted the way I did. I just, I really, misunderstood."

He tensed up a little, "Well to be fair I did act like a jackass."

"At least you didn't write me a love poem."

"Isn't that what you would have wanted? I'm quite good at rhyming."  
"I think Colin is the only person who would have rhymed my name with United States Senate. In fact, every time I think of the government I still feel a little sick."

"Colin has that effect."

"I'd normally defend Charlotte's honor, but I seem to have forgotten."

"Listen, I'd like to hang out while you're still here. I understand you aren't interested in that way, but we never just got to be friends."

He probably would have gone on, before I cut him off, "That'd be fun. I'd like to show your sister the chocolate factory anyways, and without the creepy, but oddly talented, Vincent."

He nodded and then Charlie came over and Darcy excused himself.

"How's your family?"  
"Good, they're good."

"Jane?"  
"She has an internship she really likes, she wants to take a year off and go to law school actually. How are you?"  
"I just want her to know that I'm sorry, I've always known she's more than a pretty face, and what I did was unforgivable, but can you let her know?"  
"Sure Charlie."

And then John and Chelsea were guiding me back to my flat.

I love chocolate, and I don't mean to sound all stereotypical female on you, but I really love chocolate. I wish it were a man, so that we could get married. But then I'd be arrested for cannibalism, and probably into the loony bin. Really, it was better that chocolate was only a food item.

George was all excited, I'm sure normally she was stuck doing pretentious boring stuff, and a chocolate factory tour was…well, not very exciting. But I was making an effort!

They were a pretty adorable pair of siblings, actually. I couldn't see much resemblance, Darcy was dark and handsome (and broody), and George was more like a less emaciated/drugged up Olsen twin.

By the time that the tour was over we were actually getting into a good conversation, having been making fun of the tour guide for most of the time, and I think that maybe George was starting to warm up to me.

I know this is bad, but I'm just going to say it. I wanted her to like to me, because I wanted Darcy to like me.

Which is so not the path I should go down, but you know. Okay, I don't have good logic. I'm just not that kind of girl.

Then a vibrating sound alerted me, quickly checking my phone I saw that it was a call from my Dad.

"Do you two mind if I take this, it's my Dad? He normally doesn't call my cell."

They nodded agreeable and shifted their bodies away from me like polite well breed people.

"Daddy! Did I miss one of our Skype appointments or something?"

"Darling," and with that tone of voice I just knew. "It's Lydia, we let her take a trip with the high school band up to Vancouver, but she ended up running away. Her friends think it's with a George Wickham, he's been on the news. Not only is this pedophilia, but he deserted the army. They're lose in Canada, and your mother is going insane."

"Oh God, has any one heard from her, how have we known, are you okay?"  
"I'm fine, I'm calling John, he'll hopefully have some bright ideas. I'm just worried for her, Lydia is only 15, and he is seven years older. I just can't believe we let this happen."  
"It's not your fault. We'll find her Dad, I'll get on a plane and come home if that's what it takes."  
"No, Liz, neither of us can afford that. I'll keep you updated, I've got to go. Love you."  
"Love you too."

And then I started crying, hysterically. Lydia was in fucking Canada with someone who had fucking deserted the military, and she wasn't even sixteen. I wasn't sure I'd ever get to see her again, she could never come back if she was charged with aiding a deserting officer or some such legal bullshit.

"Lizzy, Lizzy are you okay?"  
"It's my little sister, Lydia, she ran away to Canada with George Wickham. I knew that he was a horrible person, I should have said something. God, this is all my fault, now she'll spend the rest of her life living with moose and saying 'eh' and eating Macintosh. I'm so sorry, you told me what he did."

And what did he do? He tried to seduce George for all she was worth when she vulnerable at the death of her father. And then when Darcy caught on he tried to sue the family. Will had reimbursed his legal costs and sent him to Washington State, but poor George was never confident in herself.

I found that it was her who was hugging me and I returned it. In a way I suppose he had hurt us both.

"I can't even go home, my Mom must be out of control, and poor Jane and Kit. I just never thought she was this stupid."

I remember George calling me a cab and giving me her number if I needed anything, and I remember crying myself to sleep on my bed even though it was two in the afternoon. I woke up at five to a loud banging noise, and sleepily dragged myself to the door.

There was Darcy, and he was hugging me and mumbling apologies into my hair and I was crying again.

"This was never your fault."  
"That doesn't matter, Lyds is still gone. I don't know if we can get her back. She probably thinks that she's in love."

"It's okay."

I just buried my head into his chest, I had never been happier that he probably has a personal shopped to pick out really soft shirts, slowly my crying lolled.

"We've had a lot of miscommunication in the past, and I want you to know that I have people looking for Wickham right now. They've got a lead, he'll be charged in criminal trial but because you're sister is so young my lawyers will be able to get her off free. He was taking advantage of her, it's what he does."

"You don't have to do that Will, it'll cost a fortune and my Dad and I will figure something out."  
"I want to do this for you Liz. Please just let me bring your sister home."

I nodded then and we laid like that for a while.

* * *

**AN**: Because in the spirit of a man who destroyed his last chance at a relationship with her due to big communication differences (and I've always thought Darcy to be intelligent) being upfront right away made more sense to me.

Sophie: Coincidence, or conspiracy? Which, off topic, I own a book by that name, mostly because I can't stop going to used book sales. Anyways, thanks.

DL: Thanks

Lucy: Head convos are the most fun to write.

Icarus: I update so fast, I could easily have been doing my homework right now. And I assure you that I have a lot of homework. Happy birthday! Hope it's a good age.

I hope that you if you have to beat me up with a ram, you also film it, because I would definitely watch it.

Gil: May I present…Canada? I've been hinting towards the Swiss for a while now, but no one was ever like, where will her Aunt and Uncle visit her, what adventure, why doesn't she want a relationship. Or maybe I'm just not a good foreshadower.


	12. Pancakes Love

**Chapter 10: Pancakes = Love**

When I woke up I was in my bed. Fully dressed in my fancy cocktail dress, get your mind out of the gutter. Wincing at how much light reflected off of the dress it I got up and took it off, putting on much drabber pajamas. I'm talking plaid sort of drab. Because I am not a morning person, and it somehow makes sense to put on pajamas when you wake up.

My apartment smelled good. Like bacon and pancakes good. Pancakes with chocolate chips good. Will Darcy was in my kitchen, or maybe he wasn't, I hadn't had tea yet. Once I mistook Jane for Scarlet Johansson and once for our middle school teacher, who have been a bald ugly man. Jane is not a fan of me in the mornings, but as I've only thought that Mandy was a character from Lord of the Rings come to life so far, she's a big fan. My non-alertness is a truth serum.

"Good morning."

"Hmm."

Darcy was entirely too cheerful. I grabbed the orange juice he poured and gulped it down pretty fast before ignoring him to make tea.

"You're in my apartment."  
"You put on pajamas when you woke up."

"Did you put bananas in the pancakes too, because then I would declare undying love for you."

"If only I had known it was that easy."  
Oh, my bad. Although now more alert I had briefly forgotten how we had a serious conversation about his undying love for me. Only he didn't use the word undying. Too soon to joke?

"Way to create awkward tension Darce. How's your sister? I didn't mean to break down in front of her yesterday, or you, for that matter."

"She is much more concerned about you than the fact that our lives are like a small world ride that doesn't end."

I smiled and then focused on the important task at hand. Pancakes.

"Did you just make a Disney world ride reference?"

He seemed to not hear that comment. In the middle of my considering if Darcy would judge me for putting my bacon in syrup he spoke up.

"You should call me Will. I want us to be friends."

That apparently was the declaration he had been mulling over in his head. I was a little dissapointed.

"In that case you must call me something really exciting, because everyone calls me Lizzy and clearly friendship needs the use of extra special codenames."

"Elizabeth?"

"Gross. I would feel obligated to wear modest necklines and dresses all the time if that was what people called me. Oh, how about Bennet, we can switch!"  
"I am not going to refer to you as your last name. That would be taking a step back. Do I really have to call you something else, I think you're being ridiculous."

"How about Eowyn, no one ever calls me that. And if anyone asks I can just tell them that you have this Lord of the Rings sexual fantasy going on, it'll be a great ice breaker."  
"How about no."  
I pouted but decided to leave it. I didn't really want to bring up the whole my sister was a fugitive in Canada thing, but I couldn't ignore my family anymore.

"I've got to call my family."

I am so good at stating the obvious.

"Do you want me to leave?"  
And I was a little surprised when my answer was 'no'. Darcy seemed to feel that way too, but he nodded and as I retreated to the living room to boot up my computer I heard him cleaning up breakfast.

By the time I had Skyped with Jane I was exhausted, again. Darcy's lawyers apparently were working magic, they had been discovered in some hovel in Vancouver, and Wickham was due to be extradited soon. Lydia should be back by the end of the week, to my mother's dismay who apparently thought the whole thing was 'romantic'.

"How are you holding up Owyn?"

"I'm okay, it seems to be working out. I can't thank you enough Will."

And I couldn't, I wasn't sure I could ever give Darcy what he wanted, and I wasn't even sure what he wanted.

"I did it all for you."

How does one respond to that? I'm twenty, barely, and I'm mature enough to acknowledge that I'm immature and don't know a lot.

"Will, what do you want from me?"

Which was probably far too blunt. I need to watch more chick flicks and say something flowery.

"I just want a second chance, we were on very different pages the first time and I screwed things up. I want us to go on dates, I want you to be friends with my sister, I want to talk to you on the phone without it being a booty call, I want us to have sex because there is an emotional connection and not just a physical connection."

He might have gone on, but he was looking so vulnerable that I couldn't resist touching my lips to his in a brief reassurance.

"I really would like that Will."

And that was true. And maybe I didn't need to watch chick flicks to know that was the right thing to say.

He smiled then, and maybe I had been wrong all this time describing him as a statue, because right now he was emotive in such a delightful way. And then we hugged, which was weird, because my only physical contact with Darcy has been sex or when I was crying into his chest last night.

"I'll call you later, I'm sure you need some more rest."

And it was true, I did need rest, but I also needed to finish the reports that I had been working on. My boss was a very nice woman, but I didn't really feel like explaining the situation to anyone right now.

The rest of the day was spent doing work. Real work. I was an adult now. That was going to be my new outlook on life, I was going to do my job, have an adult relationship, and deal with my crazy family in a grown up way.

Then my computer beeped, and at Jane's happy face I forgot all my resolutions at relief.

"Jane, how is Longbourn Apartments? Mom decided that she didn't have five heart attacks after all? I think hypochondriacs are a lot of fun personally, maybe you should be one."

"Lizzy, mother has made a miraculous recovery. She is bragging about how worldly and international Lyds is. I think that she is going to soon make up a story where the CIA is involved."

"Any chance that Dad imposed a curfew?"

"Nope. So I was thinking that we should have a romantic rendezvous soon. Someplace in the middle so we can both afford a ticket. New York?"

That sounded nice, but I didn't want to deal with logistics of no budget tonight. My work was amazing, but not paying all that well. I needded to talk to someone about more than the fact that Lydia left, but also the craziness that she wasn't being punished.

"Jane, do you ever think that Dad is just as silly as Mom? I mean, she just is obviously silly but sometimes Dad hasn't always been there. He never went to PTA, our recitals, and he never interfered when Mom was making stupid choices, only mocked. I am afraid, I'm scared that I will follow their pattern."

And I was, my parents were not happy. I liked to pretend sometimes, but I couldn't always.

"We aren't going to be. They were young, Dad found someone who was pretty, Mom found someone who would be able to support her. I don't like it either, and they've made it work in their own way, but we've both grown up to be different people. We're going to find someone without worrying if they're rich or smart, and hope they feel the same."

This was bold of Jane, she really was changing. A year ago she would have denied that this was the state of our parent's marriage. She was also blushing.

"You have a little rouge on your cheeks there, what's happening?"  
"I met someone. We were at an orientation for Northeastern, and he just seems so nice."

"What's his name?"  
And we could forget that Lydia had run off with a deserter and that I was an ocean away and just focus on the fact that her newest guy wanted to go into Human Rights law. We could talk about the fact that through some strange twist of fate I had ended up agreeing to go on dates with Darcy. By the time it was dinner I felt much better.

* * *

**AN:** Sorry for the delay, mainly I have midterms, and it sucks. So I apologize. I get more motivated when I have more reviews.


	13. Of Whores, Clever Men, and Springtime

**Chapter 11: Of Whores, Clever Men, and Springtime**

Will Darcy was many things. Undeniably handsome, unbelievably rich, and unexpectedly nervous. So nervous, that he had tried on five different ties in the same amount of minutes, before his sister walked in, plopped herself on his bed, and commented that "I think a tie is a bit formal considering you're taking her to the movies."

Which was true.

"George, stop sitting on my bed and pick out something to wear."

"God will, you're such a girl. She's already seen you naked and we all know that matters more."  
"Gross, you're my sister. Gross."

George smiled before getting up to Will's closet (the size of which hardly advocated for a manly image) and selected jeans and a sweater.

"I don't know why you're so nervous, I mean, Liz is hot and all but she clearly already likes you. I mean, she thought you were a despicable person and slept with you, and then she figured out that you were not a total jackass and wanted to go out with you. I mean really, you at least deserve a 'sorry I misjudged your character' kiss."

"Are we really talking about this? I want her to be in love with me, and that's going to take work. Stop trying to sexualize everything, I knew I shouldn't have let you read so many British tabloids."

Rolling her eyes good naturedly George left her brother alone.

It was best to leave him alone at times like these, but as a safeguard she took his cologne out of the room.

Darcy buzzed the intercom to her apartment building, reflecting that it really was a cute place. I mean, it was nothing that he could have lived in because it was rather cheap, but still, she didn't care about that sort of class thing. It was one of the reasons that he loved her, he was positive she didn't want him for money.

He was not buzzed in, but instead treated to the sight of Elizabeth bounded out the door in her ballet flats, jean, and some sort of ruffled blouse. He was glad that George had talked him out of the tie.

"What movie are we seeing?"

"Late Bloomers, I saw it at SIFF when we were in your hometown. It seems like something you'd like."

"You go to Seattle International Film Festival and watch movies about elderly ladies who open lingerie shops?"  
"Well, yes."

She laughed then, a sound he thoroughly enjoyed, and took his hand. A move that Will hated to admit he had been too shy to make. A small smile crept onto his lips, and he was glad he had already seen the movie as he certainly was much more interested in the displays of emotion on her face than anything.

And afterwards when they wound up in a café drinking hot chocolate he thought that this was much nice than anything they had before.

Will wondered if it would be odd to propose on a first date, and decided it would scare her off.

Colin was a clever man. So clever that he knew he was ahead of the curve by getting hitched so early. Everyone would want this, the great tax benefits were one thing, and the ability to fit into higher society (where he so clearly belonged) that much easier. His wife was sitting on her computer, aimlessly browsing Facebook. Charlotte would have written 25 things about herself, but found that the thought was too depressing. Number one would have been that she married a man to get a job, number would have been that she had no faith in fairy tales, and there wasn't 23 other things about herself to share.

Instead she clicked on Liz's profile page, giggling at the sight of a picture that involved her in a chocolate shop grinning like a five year old child, eyebrows raised and all. Then she noticed a picture she had been tagged in by George Darcy, which was of her and Will holding hands in the corner of some event or another. Spring time in Switzerland was a good luck for Liz, and Charlotte envied the garden scene as well as an adorable purple dress.

"What are you looking at my little apple of my eye, sweeter than any fruit in a fruit salad?"

"Liz is dating Darcy again it would seem."

Which was probably offensive considering the incestuous feelings Colin held, but she didn't really give a damn about that.

"How delightful. I could be related to Lady, can you imagine that? You would be too of course, how much more could you want in life?"

Colin was glad that he was able to give so much to his wife, the chance to be related to such a delightful woman. He was really carrying the end of the deal, but he did not mind. He would do anything for marital bliss.

"I don't think dating equates marriage, they aren't even official or anything."

Colin loved his wife, but she was not a very clever woman. Look at how fast they had moved in their relationship, an engagement was obviously evident. He must congratulate Lady before anyone else to show his happiness.

"Excuse me the most delightful light bulb that shines brighter than a Clorox wiped window, I must call someone."

Char could only be happy that he was leaving the room.

Liz was tired. She had been under a lot of stress at work, her internship was closing up and she had several offers around the world. She just wasn't sure what to take, and didn't know if she should factor Will into her choice or not.

They had been dating four months now.

Four very delightful months, but he couldn't find excuses to spend most of the time in Switzerland she knew, and she wondered if he'd follow her somewhere else. Or if that she was something she could even ask.

Getting into her pajamas she frowned. Normally Will would be here, but he had gone to London for the weekend. The sound of her phone ringing reached her through the iPod, and she let whoever it was through. Probably George returning that sweater she had borrowed.

What greeted her however was the face of Lady. Liz resisted the very strong urge to roll her eyes and let Darcy's aunt into her living.

"I'm sure you know why I'm here."

"Can't say I do, but I hate to be rude, I've got a presentation tomorrow at work and I really just need to get some-"

"My nephew is engaged to Ann. Don't think that because you're some gold digging whore he'll leave her for you. I want you to promise that you are not engaged to William."

"If he's engaged to Ann why the need to ask? I don't think the Swiss are big fans of polygamy. Although Big Love is an excellent television show."

"Don't be so sassy young lady. Tell me the truth, are you engaged?"  
"No, we're not. Are you done?"  
"Promise me that you will never do such an act. I am willing to offer you a million dollars to stay away from Will, your being with him will only incense the family and ruin his happiness."

"I'm twenty. Do you really think I'm going to decide my entire life because you're a loony old bat."  
"Promise me you filthy slut."  
"I can guarantee that what Will and I have far outshines any promise of money that you can make. I will never promise such a thing, and if you're done fucking insulting me get out of my house."

Lady took one look at the place she considered a dump and left. Will would know what to say to stop this tramp from usurping her beloved Ann's place. Clearly he had been paying his hooker a little too much.

Locking the door, and dead bolting it for good measure, Liz laid on the couch. Who knew what sort of crazy genes ran in all families.

* * *

**AN:** Thanks for the reviews! Midterms are mostly over, and I think they went well, and I was in an extremely happy mood tonight (LOST + milkshake + good oral quiz + exciting Peace Corps news) so here is an update for you. The format is changed, because I can't make up my mind. Also, I reread Lady Susan last night, and I highly recomend you all search it out. It isn't one of Austen's well known works, but it really is one of my favorites.


	14. The Wicked Witch

**Chapter 12: The Wicked Witch**

Will Darcy considered himself an emotionally mature man, one who had gone through great trauma in his life and come out of it a better person. He considered himself a responsible and business savy man, but also one who could have a balance of a personal life.

Which is why when his least favorite Aunt barged into his London office on a Saturday afternoon, he assumed he could handle her craziness in a reasonable enough manner to get her to leave.

He was wrong.

* * *

Georgiana Darcy considered herself a greatly changed person since her rape four years ago. Where she used to be sweet, if a pushover and frivolous (though never as bad as that Sweet Sixteen show, thank G-d), she had now become a strong woman who was taking her own path in life. One that focused on a museum and not her going to college. She thought of herself as yes mature, but still growing up, and aspired to be like her steadfast and responsible brother.

Which is why she was surprised to find her afternoon of watching Veronica Mars on DVD ruined with a pounding on the door of her apartment. Carefully looking through the door hole she opened it to see her older brother, a man that she had always considered the calmer of the two.

"Will, aren't you supposed to be in London?"  
And he was. Geroge knew that Will wasn't the type to leave the business unless something was seriously wrong.

"What's happened? Is it Fitz, Anne, Lizzy?"

"No, everyone is healthy. I was in London, and I was sitting there when Aunt Lady comes in. She's all upset, like, like, that Wicked Witch of the West only without green skin."  
George nodded, things were bad when her brother was trying to use metaphors. Will was many things, poetic was not one of them.

"She tells me that she flew all the way to Switzerland to make sure that," he paused here, but continued pacing, "she called Elizabeth such horrible things. She thought we were engaged, and wanted to make sure we weren't. She honestly expected me to marry Anne. Anne! My first cousin, she's such a sick lady."

"I'm sorry Will, Aunt means well, but-"

"And then she said that Lizzy admitted that we weren't engaged. Which you know, is the truth, but then, but then she said, she said that Lizzy said she wouldn't promise not to become so! I made her repeat the exact words to me before running out there and getting on the first flight here."

Then he sat down in pure tiredness. She briefly wondered if someone had slipped her brother drugs, because he was still really jittery sitting down.

"That's great?"

"I want to propose. George, this girl, she is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me, and I know we've only been dating for four months, but we've known each other and been involved in one way or another for a year and a half. I have such an rush just thinking about it, I just wanted to make sure, make sure that you want Liz as your sister."

Will hardly recognized that George was moving until she was hugging him and excitedly shrieking on the couch.

"Ah, you're going to get married! Can I be a bridesmaid? When are you going to propose? How are you going to propose?"

Will relaxed then, his sister was one of the most important people in his life and he wanted to be open about everything with her.

"I'm going to go now, I need to do this. I love you."

"You too."

And then he was back out the door and George was far too distracted to watch the rest of the episode.

* * *

Elizabeth Bennet considered herself a normal person with a weird life path. It was weird to be twenty and living her own life in Switzerland of all places, but she put down most of it to circumstances. She liked to think she was a mature capable adult, but also knew that she had proven to be pretty stupid multiple times in the past year alone.

She was having a bit of a freak out session, now that the craziness of her boyfriend's family had been proved she was worried he would dump her for her disrespect. Which didn't seem like Will at all, but still, he was so far away and wasn't answering his phone.

She was trying to have a relaxing day in, but even watching Veronica meet Piz was not helping her calm down. Her fingers were itching to call Jane, but with the time difference it wasn't fair. And it was all in her head, right?

At the knock on her door Lizzy quickly stood up. Hopefully a distraction that wouldn't mind her being in her pajamas, maybe George was coming over. She wasn't sure what Darcy's sister was doing today.

"Will?"

And the look on his face was so intense and serious that she couldn't remember seeing him like this for a while. He closed the distance between them, shut the door, and then pushed her up against it, taking a moment before his lips were on hers and his hands were roaming her body in that delightful way they did.

Lizzy forgot about the worries she had been having and ran her hands through his hair, responding with equal force.

Then the warmth caused by Darcy's body was gone, and he was still looking at her in that way that she now realized had nothing to do with lust.

"I love you."  
"I love you too."

And it was true, she had been thinking about it for some time today and she realized that not only was she in love, but she was developing feelings deeper than she had really anticipated.

And then something happened that had not run into Lizzy's brains at all. Darcy got down on one knee.

"Elizabeth, will you-"  
"I love you, but I'm only twenty."

Darcy stood back up, and the look on his face was enough to make her start crying. Lizzy didn't consider herself much a crier, but she was starting to wonder if her and Jane's personalities were combining together slowly.

He made to leave but she stopped him. "No, someday I want to get married to you, I really really do, but I'm only twenty Will. We've been dating for four months."

"I know that! I just, when Lady told me what you said, I thought maybe you were ready. I didn't mean to, just please stop crying."

She led him carefully to the couch, "I said those things because I want to marry you Will. A lot, but I also need to respect the fact that I'm young and an ever changing person."

"Okay."  
"Okay?"

"I'll consider this engaged to be engaged then? I don't want to push you into anything Liz, we've got our whole lives."

"Thank you."

They sat there for a little while, in the sort of awkward silence that one can only expect to happen when you declare undying love but don't end up having hot sex or an engagement ring or both.

"Veronica Mars, what is with you and George?"

Then she started laughing, "It's a good show. Though George totally roots for Logan, and I'm not a huge fan. It's an issue we're trying to work through in our relationship."

"Maybe I should send you two to a counselor."

Quickly she brought them back to reality. Lizzy had an excellent idea in mind for them to meet in the middle.

"I have several job offers all over. Where are the headquarters of your business, or wherever you're supposed to be?"

"You don't have to do that."

"If we're going to do this spending the rest of our life together thing, then I think we should be based in the same place. Is it Boston?"  
"Yes."

"Okay, I'll be moving there in early December then."  
"Really?"

She gave him a quick kiss.

"Move in with me?"

"I'd really like that."

* * *

Jane Bennet was many things, and liked to think that she was excited about going to Northeastern and getting father away from her family. Of the many things that were Jane Bennet, lonely was also one of them. Yes, she had been dating Connor for a few weeks, but she was thinking about ending it. She just wasn't that into him.

And after having been dragged around, she wasn't willing to do that to someone else. When her phone rang at 3 am and she saw Lizzy, she was naturally very concerned.

"Liz?"

And also sleepy.

"I'm coming to Boston in a year, and I'm going to live with Darcy, and he proposed to me and I said no, and now he's asleep and I'm kind of freaking out a little."

"That's a lot of information. So you aren't getting married, but you're not breaking up, and everyone is okay with this and you're going to live by me?"  
"Basically."  
"Congratulations! Just don't tell Mom. Oh Lizzy, look at you all grown up, who'd ever thought you'd end up with Will? Besides me of course, I called that."  
"You did not! Anyways, I've got to go, I just needed to tell you. Love you."  
"You too."

Jane was happy for her sister, she had found an amazing guy, and they would end up in Boston together in a couple of months. It was just, her little sister seemed to have it so much more together than Jane herself. Sighing, she tried to get back to sleep.

* * *

Charlotte couldn't help but smile when she woke up and logged onto her computer. First in her updates were that Elizabeth Bennet and Will Darcy were now in a relationship.

* * *

**AN:** So we're almost done. I'm thinking like one more chapter and I'll have wrapped up lose ends. Hope you enjoyed it, I've become a bigger fan of third person for this story. Not as funny, but easier for me to describe things.


	15. The End Darlings

* * *

This is what Elizabeth Bennet's day went like: Wake up at seven. Creep out of warm comfy bed while not waking boyfriend. Try to pour bowl of cornflakes, only to find that she ran out of cornflakes yesterday. Settle for any excuse to eat nutella without feeling too guilty. Pull on a pencil skirt and heels, while swearing under her breath about how it was still cold outside and damn presentations. Kiss said boyfriend on forehead when he mumbled in his sleep and then head out to the bus stop. Miss the bus. Get to work late. Have a presentation that could have gone a lot better. Miss bus home. Get on next bus, get home to empty condo.

Elizabeth was seriously starting to rethink her stance on not letting Will buy her a car. Maybe a Prius, or, she chided herself, she could just get back into biking.

It was when she opened the fridge to find a bright red box that Lizzy's day started to look up.

It was when she opened the box to reveal chicken alfredo from Costco, already defrosted, that she started to get really excited. (Despite Will's desire to take her to fancy restaurants to show his love, she would only come home and eat again arguing that his portions were ridiculous) By the time that her dinner was ready and she opened the fridge again for juice, she noticed the bottle of sparkling cider with a red bow.

Then she started to panic.

Her birthday was several months ago, Valentine's Day was a whole different season, and their anniversary had been a few weeks ago. Will was many things, but on the whole not very romantic.

Quickly she reached for her phone and pressed two, waiting for him to pick up.

"Did you cheat on me?"  
"What, I'd never-"

"Did you get Jane in trouble somehow-"

"No, that one time was an acid-"

"Oh God, is Lydia pregnant? Oh God, do you think that I'm pregnant, because I really just like chocolate muffins-"  
"I just wanted to do something nice!"

"Oh. Um, sorry."

"Thanks for doubting me."  
She giggled a little then, Will couldn't do sarcasm to save his life.

Three years ago Lizzy didn't giggle. She was only now becoming silly, and the irony wasn't lost.

"Well this is all very delicious, but I'd like it a lot better if you were here. When do you get home?"  
"An hour, I want to take you out tonight."

"The last time you said that I had to put up with Caroline being Icelandic."  
"Just me and you."

"M'kay."

And then she hung up.

Elizabeth Bennet had had a fantastic day.

* * *

Jane Bennet was trying to study for her law class. And by trying, I mean she was looking covertly across the café at the cute boy who she recognized as being in her class. She imagined he looked like a like scary and castawayesque version of Sayid from Lost. And then looking back at her textbook which was not as attractive.

Her odds of approaching the boy got a lot smaller after Big, Blonde, and Beautiful began blasting loudly. Her face turning an appealing red she picked up her phone.

"Lizzy, I told you, stop changing my ringtone."

"Ah Janey, I don't really think you're very big. And you used to love Hairspray, remember?"  
"Not since Zac Efron ruined it some years back. Why are you so perky anyways?"  
"My boyfriend is taking me out."

"You two are so lovey dovey. It sickens me."

"Psh, you're just jealous because I've got a plate of chicken alfredo," she paused for emphasis, "from Costco."

"Damnit, I am jealous now. Anyways, what do you really want besides to make me sad?"

"Dress?"  
"How fancy?"  
"Unmentioned. I never know with Will."

"Sexy underwear, jeans, and that pretty blouse of yours with the ruffles."  
"I knew I was related to you for a reason. Now go study."

"Let me know how it goes."

Disconnecting the line Jane was rather disconcerted to find cute boy not across the café but rather across the table.

"Sexy underwear? And to think I was only going to ask for help on number 12."

"'In exchange for help with number nine and I won't even nag about eavesdropping."

"An excellent deal."

* * *

Armaan Oveisi had been seriously rethinking his plan of action when the incredibly beautiful girl in front of him had started to talk about underwear. Sexy underwear. She clearly had not noticed his appearance.

He had only just managed to compose himself by the time shut the phone.

And besides, he had been working up the courage to approach Jane for a few weeks now, and he couldn't just let go of the nerve.

By the time the studying was done and he had convinced her to let him buy her a drink (albeit a hot chocolate) Armaan walked away with his crush's number, a meeting time for their next study date (all her phrasing), and a better grasp of contract law. It had been an amazing evening.

* * *

Will Darcy was very thankful that he had such a kick-ass girlfriend. After helping himself to some of the demolished dinner he had gotten her and changing into jeans (which earned him an "Aww, you just wanna be twinsies!") they were now racing cars against each other on an otherwise deserted track. As Lizzy won for the third time in the row (the twelve year old boys that mostly populated the arcade kept snickering) he kissed her to shut her up and suggested they move onto other games.

Which they did, and Lizzy's line of tickets soon became significantly longer than his. By the time they stopped at the prize counter she was teasing him severely.

"Want me to buy you something pretty darling?"  
"That last game was so rigged."

"I'll take that, ohh, and that, and that for sure. Cherry?"

Will glared, which caused the teenager at the counter to take Lizzy's side.

"Sir, you can only afford this box of junior mints."

Will nodded, brightening considerably when Lizzy whispered about how good he'd taste now into his ear. Causing the attendant to blush before handing over their goods quickly.

Hand in hand they wandered out of the noisy arcade and Lizzy led him over to a bench at the park. It was pretty tonight, and the park was all green and brick, Boston gave her such a romantic feeling.

She fumbled through her bag, before finding what she wanted.

"Sit! And close your eyes."  
"I'm not your dog."

But he obeyed.

"Okay, now open. William Darcy, you make me incredibly fucking happy, and I would like it to stay that way. Marry me?"

In her hand was a very large ring pop. Cherry, Will's favorite.

"And if you reject me right now, you won't get to see my hot underwear tonight. Just so you know."

Will was still speechless, and Lizzy became a little more concerned.

"Listen, I know I don't have an actual ring, but I didn't think you would want to wear any bling, but I really am sincere. Will?"

Her spontaneous proposal had been done in seriousness. But now she was starting to worry, she hadn't meant to insult Will's manliness or anything of the sort. She had simply changed her mind since a year ago. It had seemed like such a good plan three minutes ago.

"Will? I need you to talk to me, because I kind of just put myself out there."

A pause, where Will was just staring.

"Will you really need to say something."  
And then he pulled out his own ring, which she had to admit put hers to shame. She hadn't let him get it out the year before, and was now a little stunned herself. It only took her a second to find her voice.

"Yes, of course yes, yes!"

And then he kissed her while slipping the ring onto her finger, and the ring pop lay forgotten on the ground.

It had been a very good day, and they hadn't even gotten to the sexy underwear part of the evening.

Lizzy abruptly broke off the kiss, and Will looked a little dismal before realizing just how cold it was. But that was not the cause as his fiancée, he relished the word, was screaming into the phone.

"JANE! I'm engaged."

"How'd he propose? Damn I choose good outfits."  
"No, I proposed, and like, three seconds ago in a park. I love you."  
"Call me when you stop having sex enough to take time for your favorite sister."

Turning to Will she muttered an apology before reaching up to kiss him.

"Lets go home?"

"Okay."

* * *

When her husband came home Charlotte was lying on their bed sobbing. Her figure curled into a ball and her eyes more red than he had ever seen, even after their wedding when she said they were tears of joy.

"My love, what is the matter?"  
"Don't be civil, and don't call me your love. You don't love me, you have never loved anyone except where it has done you good. I thought, I thought I could be happy."

"You are happy my darling of the sun."  
Charlotte sat up then, and the paleness of her skin and the hair that she had died blond to appease him made her look all the more sickly.

"Do I look happy? I've married a fool with a trust fund. Jane is happier to me, even alone and trying to make it in a hard place. Maria is happier than me sleeping with ten guys a month and not caring a bit for any of them. My mother is happier, working hard to make ends meet but coming home to the man she loves. And Lizzy just got her fucking fairytale ending. So don't tell me I'm happy."

"Don't be so damn unreasonable, otherwise I shall cut your allowance. Now, I am rather tired and it is quite time for bed."

"I'm leaving you. I'll work as a waitress, I may not be pretty, I may not be brilliant, but surely even I deserve a second chance. Surely even I."

* * *

Lydia Bennet was not sure where she was. Somewhere smoky and that last drink had gotten her maybe a bit too smashed. Now that she was eighteen (though just barely) she was going to make it as an actress. She was determined. Bought a plane ticket with the money that her parents had given her for Hanukkah and arrived in LA a scant three days ago. Already she had made a friend with whose place to crash and had seen more boys than auditions.

The acting could wait, there was a very nice looking over there. And surely, if he was that old he could be a little rich as well.

* * *

On Sunday, Elizabeth divided the paper between comics and news, keeping the later to herself and giving the former to her fiancée, knowing he secretly enjoyed them.

"When do you want to get married?"  
"Hadn't really thought of it. You just looked so good I had to propose."

"Do you want a big wedding?"  
"Ah, look at you, reserving gender roles. But no, can you imagine what my mother would do? I mainly just want Jane there. You?"

"I just want you there. I was thinking we could do it soon."  
"How soon, because I wasn't joking about not being knocked up. Speaking of which, I don't want children till twenty-eight at least. At least."

"I know that. And I was thinking two hours?"  
"For what?"  
"Our wedding. Jane is bringing over a lovely white dress, and city hall is open. I figured since you surprised me with a proposal, I could surprise you with a wedding."  
"My Dad?"  
"In a lovely hotel down the street?"  
"My Mom?"  
"Promised to keep quiet and there won't be a reception or anything. George is in the city too, and Charlie of course, I forget to let his sister know."  
"Sounds lovely."

Then the door opened and Jane walked in with a garment bag. She was grinning wider than Lizzy had seen her do in a long time.

"I promise to do your make-up subtly."

"Good, because that first night Will thought I was a whore after you did it."  
"I thought no such thing. I merely felt obligated to repress my feelings of appreciation at your beauty."

Rolling her eyes Jane started to get set up. Their bickering was adorable and more sickening than the lovey dovey stuff. Shooing him out gracefully, "We'll see you in two hours at city hall."

"I can't wait."

* * *

**AN**: So thanks for reading this story. It was pretty bad, especially with all my POV and style changes, making it hardly coherent. I really just wanted to write a story where Will and Lizzy had a relationship that made sense in a thoroughly modern context and Jane learned to be her own person. A lot of you are Charlie fans, so I apologize, but I wanted a character to really develop.

That being said, this story has been an excellent stress reliever/break for me. For those of your who still like me enough to read anything else, I've been thinking of doing a modernization of Lady Susan (probably the funniest of the seven Austen novels in my opinion), but that book is so short the story would be even shorter than this. Other than that, I wish you all well.

As post-script, Piz is so much better than Logan. Just saying.


End file.
